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Ben Shapiro

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This Week in M’s Land: Seriously, is this team above average?

(AP)

Daron and I have both discovered our shared, shameful native Washingtonian secret: We’re both Mariners fans.

I’ve told many a family member, friend or random transplant on a Lime Bike that there is no relationship that has done more harm to my psyche than my Mariners fandom. Every year, like a beautiful paramour baseball woos us back with her siren song of peanuts, cracker jacks, and late season collapses that are expected like the cold embrace of a jilted ex.

Similar to our conservative message at AM 770 KTTH, we understand how there are those who will mock you for your belief in the Mariners. How your spouse will tell you to turn off the game, or a coworker will ask if “they’ve ever made the playoffs in your lifetime.” Either way, we’ve decided to join the ride this year, likely to our hearts ultimate demise.

Tune in every Monday and read our summary online for “This Week in M’s Land.” You can also catch the Mariners on our sister station 710 ESPN all season long!

Week 2: (9-2, 4-1 for the week)

Week Most Resembled This 2020 Presidential Candidate: Joe Biden; Leading the early polls (like the Mariners are leading baseball), this candidate/team seems to be a competitor, but something tells me that won’t be the case at the end of the season. Butt-slaps & eskimo kisses may work in baseball, but they are probably inappropriate with strangers when running for president.

Game 7: Los Angeles Angels @ Seattle

Result: Angels 3 (1-4) – Mariners 6 (6-1)

Saul: Felix takes his first start of the year for the seventh game of the season. The offense continues to excel, and my expectations for the Mariners continue to reach imaginary heights that rhymes with “layoffs.”

Daron: Mariners offense — *exceeds expectations*

Felix Hernandez: “Hold my beer.”

High T Player of the Game: Felix Hernandez still plays baseball it seems. He’s given higher T in the past, but we’ll take the 5.1 IP, 1 ER & 4 SO.

Game 8: Los Angeles Angels @ Seattle

Result: Angels 1 (1-5) – Mariners 2 (7-1)

Saul: A classic Mariners game if I’ve ever seen one. A beautiful pitching performance squandered by a weak offense… OH MY GOODNESS WE ACTUALLY WON! WHO ARE THESE GUYS!

Daron: I might buy a Marco Gonzales jersey. He is dazzling in a more traditional 2-1 Mariners win.

High T Player of the Game: Marco Gonzales! He almost had a complete game – studly line of 8.1 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 3 SO. Have we found our ace?

Game 9: Seattle @ Chicago White Sox

Result: Mariners 8 (7-2) – Chicago 10 (3-3)

Saul: A sloppy back and forth game. The Mariners actually mounted a legitimate comeback bid, but a sloppy bullpen and poor defense cannot be helped.

Daron: Errors and a bad bullpen are the reason the Mariners won’t sustain their recent success, even if the offense looks unstoppable.

Low T Loser of the Game: Tim Beckham had three errors in the first evening that set the tone for a sloppy game. Keep swinging a strong bat and your T will improve Tim!

Game 10: Seattle @ Chicago White Sox

Result: Mariners 9 (8-2) – Chicago 2 (3-4)

Saul: The Mariners offense was visible early behind Beckham and Bruce, but Mike Leake held it down giving up only 2 runs in six innings of work — that’s a quality start right there!

Daron: Jay Bruce has 7 hits this season, 5 are home runs. Trade him now for bullpen help before his value inevitably decreases.

High T Player of the Game: Jay Bruce; Mariners have homered in every game this year. Jay Bruce added two more to his total. Two solo HRs is about as High T as you can get — no sharing of the glory with teammates.

Game 11: Seattle @ Chicago White Sox

Result: Mariners 12 (9-2) – Chicago 5 (3-5)

Saul: Wade LeBlanc (2-0) gave up just two runs over six innings, and the offense continued to go ham on whomever they face. They have scored five or more runs 10 times this year… they’ve only played 11 games. This team is making me believe.

Daron: Mariners have 27 home runs in 11 games. Soak it in. Vogelbach is an absolute unit and he adds two more to the total today.

High T Player of the Game: Daniel Vogelbach; certifiably large human being and holder of massive natural T. Currently batting .467 with 7 hits and 4 HR’s. Get him more ABs, coach!

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