DAVE ROSS

Ross: Humans have advanced to the level of AirPods

Sep 9, 2019, 6:53 AM | Updated: 10:08 am

AirPods...

A model wears Apple AirPods during Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Fall/Winter 2019/2020, on March 04, 2019 in Paris, France. (Edward Berthelot/Getty Images)

(Edward Berthelot/Getty Images)

In the beginning, humans were born with all the body parts necessary to function productively. But little by little, we’ve had to add things. A wallet, phone, glasses, keys. I go through the list every morning. And now for many people the list is has grown to include Apple’s wireless AirPods.

AirPods are wireless headphones that fit right in your ear. They were invented because we got so good at not losing our phones. Whereas AirPods lose themselves beautifully. A few months ago one guy actually swallowed one in his sleep. It did reappear — about 24 hours later.

Are we going back to the old light bulbs?

I myself have never bought them because I have unevolved, pre-Millennial ears and I’d be on my 20th set by now. But many people find themselves unable to resist the liberation of a wireless earbud. At least until it falls into a sink, storm drain, mixed drink, or some guy’s stomach.

That’s why, according to the Wall Street Journal, some users will carry improvised AirPod retrieval tools. Which means now — it’s wallet, phone, glasses, keys, AirPods, dental-floss-tied-to-magnet.

Anyway, I see there’s a big iPhone reveal tomorrow; let’s hope it includes either a direct Bluetooth auditory nerve stimulator – so you don’t need any earbuds, or a Dadgum headphone jack so you can hear stuff without paying $169. And so you can pull it out of your stomach right away. Instead of having to, you know, wait.

Listen to Dave Ross weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. on KIRO Radio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

Dave's Commentary

Dave Ross on KIRO Newsradio 97.3 FM
  • listen to dave rossTune in to KIRO Newsradio weekdays at 5am for Dave Ross on Seattle's Morning News.

Dave Ross

car culture...

Dave Ross

Ross: Are we killing car culture? Or is car culture killing the US?

I don’t think the question is whether we're going to "kill" our car culture. The real question is can we stop our car culture from killing the U.S.?

3 days ago

drivers data insurance...

Dave Ross

Ross: As cars release driving data to insurance, is your driving my business?

Every move you make, every swerve you take, every lane change you fake – someone’s watching you. Do drivers have a right to keep driving data private?

10 days ago

rent control...

Dave Ross

Ross: Rent control was never the answer in Wash.

The rent control bill died in the Washington State Legislature this week, even though Democrats control both houses.

1 month ago

end of democracy...

Dave Ross

Ross: Conservative activist earns applause for pledging an ‘end of Democracy’

The theme from Jack Posobiec's speech is that Jan. 6 was a righteous attack not on democracy, but on those who threaten democracy.

1 month ago

Image: Rep. Lauren Boebert, R-Colorado, is seen on Capitol Hill on Jan. 6, 2023. (Photo: Alex Brand...

Dave Ross

Ross: Voters can help cull bad politicians from the herd early

Let's remember that just about every occupant of a higher office once occupied a lower office, and was put there by us, Dave Ross says.

1 month ago

Super Bowl celebration...

Dave Ross

Ross: The NFL does it again

The NFL once again put on a show that was able to keep me tuned in for four hours even though I had no stake in either team.

2 months ago

Ross: Humans have advanced to the level of AirPods