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Ross: A song explaining the rebellion against masks

Protesters in Vancouver, WA. (Photo by Karen Ducey/Getty Images)

Along with everything else, there seems to be a mask rebellion going on in this country, at least in certain states.

I’ve been trying to figure out why people hate masks so much, especially men. Is it because they’re unmanly? Is it because the government is ordering us to do it?

No, I think there’s a different explanation, but it’s very controversial – and so to disarm my critics, I’m going to use a commentary tool that I’ve never used before, because I don’t use it very well. It’s my ukulele, here we go:


We can finally go out in the open
We can dance, we can drink and have fun
But before we go out
With our nose and our mouth
There is just one more thing to put on

And it’s our
Itsy bitsy teeny weeny
Very manly face bikini
That’s the order we all must obey

You hang the thing FROM EAR TO EAR
And when you look into the mirror
BOTH your ears, they stick out all the way

And forever that’s how they will stay…

And that’s why people… hate the government

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