Whatever happened to Apple Pie America?

Oct 8, 2010, 2:46 PM | Updated: Mar 28, 2011, 3:48 pm

Listen to Dave’s commentary:

Every October, we’re carpet bombed with attack ads that leave us convinced that our government is in the grip of crazed socialists, and that the people running to replace the crazed socialists are evil witches.

That’s your choice. Crazed socialists versus evil witches.

No wonder approval ratings are so low. Approval ratings for everybody are low. Approval ratings for the pollsters who take the approval ratings are low.

Every October we become a country where the women are angry, the men are unemployed, and all the children are well below average.

A majority of us hate everybody! This no longer feels like the Apple Pie country we remember. Personally, I think it’s because of the negative ads run by the National Campaign Committee to Oppose Dessert Metaphors:

Apple Pie. Many people think it represents America. That’s certainly what Apple Pie would have you believe. But is Apple Pie really on your side? Many people have questions. Questions Apple Pie refuses to answer. Why the crust? What’s it trying to hide.

Come on Apple Pie… you contain cinnamon. It’s a spice named for sin. And that’s just wrong. It’s wrong for our kids; it’s wrong for America.

Call Apple Pie. And tell it that it’s OK as a dessert. But you can’t represent America, if you’re drenched in SIN…. ammon.

It’s awful! Especially that video clip where apple pie gets schooled by the low-fat cheesecake.

Ross and Burbank

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Whatever happened to Apple Pie America?