It was snowing in April.
My wife and I decided we were in serious need of some sun during our kids’ spring break.
So there I am, sitting on the patio of our rented condo in Palm Desert. I casually get on my laptop to see what the news is back in Seattle. That’s when the headline jumped out at me:
Seattle officials propose 20-cent grocery-bag fee
No… it can’t be… the perfect illustration of everything I’ve been saying about Seattle politicians: contempt for the lower and middle class… maniacal desire to control our behavior… cult-like devotion to the myth of global warming… it’s all there – in one tidy little story – AND I’M 1,000 MILES AWAY WITH NO OUTLET FOR MY RANT!!!
The cruelty of Greg Nickels… waiting until I’m on vacation to announce his grocery bag tax scheme. He knew how that would torture me. He knew that it would be the talk-show-host equivalent of waterboarding.
He knew that every time we’d go to the Ralph’s in Palm Desert and pick up three bags of groceries that I’d say “well… that’d be another 60 cents in Seattle”… and my girls would say, “okay dad… we get the point… but we’re on vacation… let it rest…”
I know it’s an old story by Monday. I know I should move on to fresher topics. But if I give them a free pass on this one, they’ll start timing all of their outrageous announcements to coincide with my vacations. I can’t establish that precedent. So, sorry Mister Mayor, but I’m coming after you Monday for this ridiculous plan. Stop taunting me while I’m trying to relax in the sun.
And, by the way, when this global warming thing finally kicks in, we won’t have to go to California for warmth – it’ll be 85-degrees here in April. Another reason to use as many plastic bags as possible. See you at Noon.