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May Day 2018 protests were completely peaceful and boring

Police wait around for events on May Day 2018. (Matt Pitman, KIRO Radio)

The expectations for May Day chaos fizzled on Tuesday like a faulty tear gas canister. Seattle police only reported one May Day arrest, which occurred when a masked-man hurled a rock at the Amazon Spheres before any of the day’s events happened.

The spheres still appear to be standing last we checked.

“I am so disappointed,” joked KIRO Radio’s John Curley. “Come on you anarchists, you’re so lazy you can’t even break a window. Let’s all share stories about where we were when nothing happened.”

Previous May Days have seen numerous incidents of property damage, clashes with police, and violence. There were five arrests in 2017. The 2016 event caused a year-long investigation over a Molotov cocktail. But May Day 2018 made news for lacking any such shenanigans.

RELATED: Single arrest made during mostly peaceful May Day in Seattle

The Seattle marches were primarily peaceful in nature and involved immigration and workers’ rights groups May 1st Action Coalition and El Comité, as well as conservative demonstrations by Patriot Prayer and the Proud Boys. None clashed. There were barely enough events to fill this article.

“One anarchist did pick up a rock and throw it at [the Amazon Spheres],” joked KIRO Radio’s Tom Tangney.

“And you know what happened?” responded Curley. “It bounced off.”

The uneventful day concluded with a group of activists hosting a hybrid block party/protest on 45th in the University District, which protested the construction of the new King County juvenile detention center. Police showed up to ensure it was peaceful, and it was.

“I love protests that are peaceful,” Tom said. “We never cover it, of course. This is a good day for democracy.”

Curley couldn’t help but feel let down.

“I want riots, people in news want riots,” he said. “You don’t want anybody hurt, but you don’t mind somebody getting teargassed once in a while who’s wearing a pair of skinny jeans.”

“If a tree falls in the woods and an anarchist doesn’t get hit in the head, I guess nobody cares about it.”

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