SEATTLE NEWS ARCHIVES & FEATURES

Ron: How am I going to live my life around a reusable straw?

Sep 14, 2017, 12:29 PM | Updated: 3:57 pm

My straw. (Ron Upshaw,KIRO Radio)...

My straw. (Ron Upshaw,KIRO Radio)

(Ron Upshaw,KIRO Radio)

Something kind of silly happened to me yesterday. I was getting my daily afternoon coffee right before the show. I like to be a bit caffeinated when the red light goes on.

I got my usual summer drink — large iced coffee at Starbucks with some room. The barista sheepishly handed me what he called, “our new reusable straw.”

RELATED: Safeco Field beats Seattle to plastic straw ban

I did a double take, and took the new thicker reusable straw with me to the half & half station.

Then it hit me, what are we doing? Seriously? A reusable straw? That’s what it’s come to?

About six days ago, Seattle passed a new initiative dubbed, “Strawless in Seattle.”

By next July, they want to have a total ban on plastic straws and plastic eating utensils. So long spork. We barely knew you. They say there’s just too much plastic straw and spork garbage around.

I can only imagine what the meetings were like over at Starbucks HQ. I’m sure they want to be a green company. So in an effort to get out in front of this thing, they put some of the finest minds in chain restaurants together and launched the new, thicker reusable straw. Then someone had to design this straw, and then they had to find a reusable straw manufacturer, and finally ship them to the stores with some training for the baristas. I’m sure there was a flyer or video explaining that they should tell customers all about our new reusable straw.

Only one problem. I promptly threw mine away. I did a non-official poll at work. Nobody is reusing this straw.

I asked a female coworker if she might put it in her purse, and she looked at me like I was a lunatic. “You have any idea the stuff I carry around in my purse?” she asked. “I’d never do that.”

I seriously took a moment to try and figure out how this would work.

In its defense, it is a really nice straw. It’s definitely sturdy enough for multiple uses. But how exactly is this suppose to work? I finish my iced coffee, then throw away the cup and put the 9-inch reusable straw in my pocket and carry it around? Or put it in the console of my car? Then the next time I’m craving a coffee, I take out the dirty straw and bring it into the store?

What are we talking about here?

I get it. Seattle wants to be the most progressive kid on the block.

But do the people that come up with these hair brained ideas ever think about how they will actually work in practice? Do they think about the burden it places on businesses large and small? Does the City of Seattle really expect all of it citizenry to walk around with their own set of utensils and straws by July of 2018?

Maybe take the energy you spent on straws and devote it to solving homelessness. How much plastic garbage do you find in an encampment?

Oh, more than my straw? I thought so.

FILE - An aerial view of flood damage left in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene is seen Sept. 28, 2...

Associated Press

The body of the last victim of Hurricane Helene in Tennessee has been found, 2 years later

The remains of the final missing Tennessee victim from Hurricane Helene were found two years after the storm devastated Appalachian mountain towns with floods that wiped away whole communities. Nancy Tucker, 76, disappeared along with her husband Jimmy Tucker when flooding from the Nolichucky River took their home in rural Washington County in the northeastern […]

6 minutes ago

White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles listens as President Donald Trump speaks and announces actio...

Associated Press

White House chief of staff Susie Wiles says she no longer shows evidence of cancer after treatment

WASHINGTON (AP) — White House chief of staff Susie Wiles said Wednesday that she no longer shows evidence of cancer after she underwent months of treatment for early stage breast cancer. Wiles, who is President Donald Trump’ s closest adviser and counsel, said in a post on X that her pathology results came back clear […]

8 minutes ago

junk fees...

Julia Dallas

Mayor Wilson signs rental junk fee ban into law, landlords who violate could be taken to court

Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson signed her rental junk fee ban into law on Wednesday.

16 minutes ago

Associated Press

FBI and Coast Guard boarded US-bound oil tankers after signs the ships were hit with cyberattacks

WASHINGTON (AP) — The FBI and U.S. Coast Guard boarded two oil tankers bound for the United States to investigate after indications the ships’ networks had been compromised by cyberattacks, officials said Wednesday. Investigators on Aug. 21 and Aug. 24 responded to reported network breaches of two foreign-flagged commercial oil tankers, and a multiagency team […]

21 minutes ago

FILE - Kamala Harris, former Vice President and 2024 presidential candidate, arrives during the Nat...

Associated Press

Kamala Harris is to campaign in Michigan with Abdul El-Sayed

LANSING, Mich. (AP) — Former Vice President Kamala Harris plans to campaign with Democratic Senate nominee Abdul El-Sayed in Michigan next week in the party’s latest push to unify voters in a key battleground state that will help determine control of the Senate. Harris and El-Sayed have spoken multiple times since she endorsed the progressive […]

25 minutes ago

FILE - Leon Black, a billionaire who was close with Jeffrey Epstein, arrives for a closed-door inte...

Associated Press

House holds billionaire Leon Black in contempt of Congress over Epstein investigation

WASHINGTON (AP) — The House approved a resolution Wednesday holding billionaire Leon Black in contempt of Congress, referring the matter to the Department of Justice after he defied the Oversight Committee’s subpoenas in its investigation into disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein. The action was swift, and without a formal vote, and now leaves it to the […]

34 minutes ago

Ron: How am I going to live my life around a reusable straw?