SEATTLE NEWS ARCHIVES & FEATURES

Ron: How am I going to live my life around a reusable straw?

Sep 14, 2017, 12:29 PM | Updated: 3:57 pm

My straw. (Ron Upshaw,KIRO Radio)...

My straw. (Ron Upshaw,KIRO Radio)

(Ron Upshaw,KIRO Radio)

Something kind of silly happened to me yesterday. I was getting my daily afternoon coffee right before the show. I like to be a bit caffeinated when the red light goes on.

I got my usual summer drink — large iced coffee at Starbucks with some room. The barista sheepishly handed me what he called, “our new reusable straw.”

RELATED: Safeco Field beats Seattle to plastic straw ban

I did a double take, and took the new thicker reusable straw with me to the half & half station.

Then it hit me, what are we doing? Seriously? A reusable straw? That’s what it’s come to?

About six days ago, Seattle passed a new initiative dubbed, “Strawless in Seattle.”

By next July, they want to have a total ban on plastic straws and plastic eating utensils. So long spork. We barely knew you. They say there’s just too much plastic straw and spork garbage around.

I can only imagine what the meetings were like over at Starbucks HQ. I’m sure they want to be a green company. So in an effort to get out in front of this thing, they put some of the finest minds in chain restaurants together and launched the new, thicker reusable straw. Then someone had to design this straw, and then they had to find a reusable straw manufacturer, and finally ship them to the stores with some training for the baristas. I’m sure there was a flyer or video explaining that they should tell customers all about our new reusable straw.

Only one problem. I promptly threw mine away. I did a non-official poll at work. Nobody is reusing this straw.

I asked a female coworker if she might put it in her purse, and she looked at me like I was a lunatic. “You have any idea the stuff I carry around in my purse?” she asked. “I’d never do that.”

I seriously took a moment to try and figure out how this would work.

In its defense, it is a really nice straw. It’s definitely sturdy enough for multiple uses. But how exactly is this suppose to work? I finish my iced coffee, then throw away the cup and put the 9-inch reusable straw in my pocket and carry it around? Or put it in the console of my car? Then the next time I’m craving a coffee, I take out the dirty straw and bring it into the store?

What are we talking about here?

I get it. Seattle wants to be the most progressive kid on the block.

But do the people that come up with these hair brained ideas ever think about how they will actually work in practice? Do they think about the burden it places on businesses large and small? Does the City of Seattle really expect all of it citizenry to walk around with their own set of utensils and straws by July of 2018?

Maybe take the energy you spent on straws and devote it to solving homelessness. How much plastic garbage do you find in an encampment?

Oh, more than my straw? I thought so.

ocean temperatures El Niño...

Ted Buehner

Global ocean temperatures set new record as developing El Niño adds heat to decades of warming

A recent report highlighted that global ocean temperatures set a new record on Aug. 22 this year with an average reading of 69.98 degrees Fahrenheit.

11 minutes ago

President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump, attend a ceremony to commemorate the 25th anni...

Associated Press

The Latest: House votes for a third time to end the Iran war as conflict drags on

For a third time, the U.S. House has voted to end the war in Iran, approving a war powers resolution that would halt President Donald Trump’s ability to continue military action without congressional approval. The roll call was similar to earlier efforts this summer. None of the resolutions have made it to the president’s desk, […]

17 minutes ago

kent park-and-ride shooting...

KIRO 7 News Staff

Man shot and killed at Metro Park-and-Ride in Kent

Kent police are looking for a person or people involved in a deadly shooting at a Metro bus stop Park-and-Ride on Tuesday evening.

21 minutes ago

Tacoma...

John Curley Show

‘That’s not protection, that’s displacement’: RHAWA director warns Tacoma’s tenant measure will gut mom-and-pop landlords

The Tacoma DSA are back with a new ballot measure, and Government Affairs Director for RHAWA said it will make the city's housing crisis worse.

44 minutes ago

In this photo, released by Belarusian Presidential Press Service, Belarusian President Alexander Lu...

Associated Press

Belarus frees 25 prisoners in exchange for the US lifting some sanctions, envoy says

TALLINN, Estonia (AP) — The U.S. special envoy for Belarus said Wednesday that the country’s authorities have agreed to release 25 prisoners as part of a deal that includes the lifting of U.S. sanctions against some Belarusian companies. John Coale, President Donald Trump’s special envoy for Belarus, made the statement a day after meeting Belarus’ […]

45 minutes ago

FILE - Women pray at a memorial outside Utah Valley University after Turning Point USA CEO and co-f...

Associated Press

Charlie Kirk’s family says security failures by Utah officials led to his assassination

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — Charlie Kirk’s family blamed Utah officials for failing to prevent the conservative activist’s assassination at a state university, in a wrongful death notice announced Wednesday that presages a possible lawsuit. Attorneys for the family said Kirk’s death resulted from a string of “reckless decisions” by officials at Utah Valley University […]

3 hours ago

Ron: How am I going to live my life around a reusable straw?