Gratitude goes beyond the Thanksgiving holiday

I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

But also a few words on being thankful. Turns out, gratitude is the new black. Many in the mental health field are beginning to think that the ability to express gratitude may be one of the most important life skills. It has positive impacts on everything from your personal relationships to your blood pressure.

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It sounds so hokey though. For most of my life, I’ve been in the roll-your-eyes camp when Thanksgiving came along. On Turkey Day, we were forced by my mother to go around the table and say something we were thankful for. I always made fun of this tradition. It seemed so much cooler to be cynical. So that became my armor. Make fun of everyone and everything, and then compare myself to others. Either I would be jealous if they had something I coveted, or I’d be condescending if I thought I was better.

Turns out that script I wrote for myself as a 12-year-old boy had a profound impact on my life. On the one hand, the insecurity and jealousy created an urgent sense of ambition and drive. I used it as fuel to develop a work ethic, and found a path to have a career I really enjoy.

On the other hand, I was playing a losing game. There will always be someone to be jealous of. It’s a never ending cycle. And spending your life in petty judgment of others is about the least-fulfilling life that can be lived.

So it was a bit of a surprise to me that the key to the entire thing was that hokey tradition we use to do around the Thanksgiving table. Be grateful for what you have.

Only one thing. To make it work, you have to do it every day, not just one Thursday in November. And you have to lose the judgments. Gratitude and cynicism can’t be in the same place at the same time.

I’m not an expert on this stuff. I read about it and do my best. There are good days and there are bad days. But remembering that there are a thousand things every day that I can be thankful for has been much more rewarding than pointing out the few that I can complain about.

So thanks for listening. You have given me a great life.

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