SDOT’s Incident Response Team will only get stuck in Seattle traffic

The City of Seattle announced a new mini-fleet of trucks to serve as an incident response team on Wednesday. We are only a few short months away from the ominous sounding “period of maximum constraint.” The truck teams are the politicians’ preemptive response. This is Bertha finally opening, the viaduct coming down, and the new hockey arena starting, among other things.

To help with drivers that block the box and try to use their car to intimidate walkers or bicyclist, there are now five trucks. They look to me like white Ford F-350’s with a burgundy stripe down the bed with the words “INCIDENT RESPONSE” in a bold font.

The truck is also equipped with a new hot pink warning sign system. They chose pink to differentiate it from the normal orange signs that are all but ubiquitous right now.

Can I ask a few simple questions?

First, how exactly is a F-350 truck supposed to get to the intersections that are gridlocked because of bad driver behavior? Have you ever driven an F-350? Because I have and they are huge for city streets.

Who thought of this plan?

Image you are the driver of Incident Response truck #3. You are parked, waiting to be deployed. Over the radio you hear, “Incident Response 3, there’s a blocking the box in progress at Mercer and First Ave. Go take care of it.”

“I’m on it,” you say.

So the driver cranks over the diesel engine and hits the gas, only to go about 50 feet in the direction of the call. Why? Because all of downtown IS IN GRIDLOCK because of the people blocking the box.

Is he going to turn on his hot pink warning sign and drive into oncoming traffic like an ambulance does sometimes in an emergency? I doubt it.

The trucks are nice, but they will just add to the congestion in a block the box scenario.

My second question, which is more of a rhetorical one, let’s say these trucks can make it to the incident site. Are they going to somehow punish the biggest offenders of blocking the box?

If you’ve driven in Seattle lately, you know who I’m talking about: articulating buses. In my experience, by a wide margin, the biggest box blockers are city buses. Not only do they block the box, they block traffic in all directions when the front half of the bus has started the turn and the back half is still facing the other direction.

So adding a F-350 with a hot pink sign to this mix is somehow going to improve the situation?

Politician, please.

“What Are We Talking About Here” can be heard every weekday at 4:50 p.m. and 6:50 p.m. on the Ron & Don Show on KIRO Radio 97.3 FM.