‘Fail Mary’ ref suffering from PTSD tells others not to be ashamed

A controversial decision in a game between Green Bay and the Seahawks two years ago will likely be on the lips of commentators this weekend, but its impact never left the mind of the ref who made the infamous “Fail Mary” call.

Lance Easley tells KIRO Radio’s Dori Monson he’s been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of what he endured following his ruling on a Golden Tate last-second touchdown in a meeting of the two teams in 2012. Tate was awarded the touchdown on a pass that some people said the Packers picked off. The controversial call won Seattle the game, 14-12.

There was a quick and significant backlash including intense media coverage, death threats, even a visit from the bomb squad to his home. But Easley said he tried to ride it out just like other difficult things he’s encountered in his life.

“Initially, I fought through it. My family and I, we hunkered down and dealt with the outpouring. After time, I guess it just caught up to me and now I’m where I’m at.”

Easley said doctors have since diagnosed him with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well as depression and anxiety. He said he’s even had thoughts of ending his life.

“I watched ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ during Christmas,” said Easley. “I know how that feels. It’s not something that I’ve acted on or want to act on, but it’s horrible to even have those thoughts.”

The change in his mindset came on all of a sudden, he explains.

“All of a sudden, almost like an alien invaded my body, I started really feeling different. The things I liked to do I couldn’t do anymore. Then I went in a grocery store and had a complete panic attack. I thought I was having a heart attack, I’ve never experienced anything like that. Then it got worse and worse.”

Monson asked how Easley feels about the people that might question how serious an incident this bad call really was, considering it in the context of more familiar scenarios that lead to PTSD.

“There are people listening right now who have been in Iraq or Afghanistan and have dodged bullets and have PTSD and they’re listening and they’re saying, ‘Wait a second, the guy made a controversial call?’ What do you say if people are thinking that?”

“I’m a veteran. I honor those people,” said Easley, a former Marine. “I feel ashamed that I’m suffering from it [compared to] what they’ve gone through. However, this morning I had a woman message me talking about their 12-year-old who is suffering from it. It just doesn’t know any boundaries. It can attack anybody. A major incident can happen, then it triggers all this stuff.

“I think the attitude is to be compassionate towards people and loving, and help them heal. Recognize it’s there and how do you get through it.”

Regardless of how things turned out, Easley said he wouldn’t change the call or take back the experience. He just hopes sharing his story gives others strength in their own struggles.

“I just hope it encourages other people to have more strength and not be ashamed of it. It’s just like having a broken leg or something else. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s something I hope our society can become more humane towards one another, and encourage one another, and have more love toward one another as human beings.”