For families, devastation when a loved one starts over

When Meara Nichols vanished from her Everett home in January, her family had a hard time believing that the mother of three would simply leave her life behind.

But when Nichols, 33, was found safe in Florida this week, the Everett Police Department closed her missing person case. After all, you are not missing if you don’t want to be found. That doesn’t change the fact, however, that she left a lot of people who loved her.

“I don’t think she realized that she’s loved and missed that much, that we care,” Meara’s sister Carleen Heath told 97.3 KIRO FM in March.

Although such cases are uncommon in the news, Nichols is not the first person to pick up and start over, a devastating ordeal for families whose loved ones decide to begin a new life without them.

“I just don’t understand how somebody could just leave their kids,” said Jerred, a father of four whose family had what he calls a normal life in Snohomish County. “It was fine. We have a house, we have an acre, and it’s great. There’s no abuse, there’s no drugs,” he said. “My oldest kids played varsity soccer for the high school. Everybody was involved. I went to all the parent-teacher conferences. It was fine, it was a fine life.”

But in 2010, Jerred said his wife of more than 10 years disappeared. It took some work to track her to an apartment in Ohio, where he says she was living by herself and having an affair with someone she met online. She had left her entire life, and everyone in it behind.

The couple’s children were 6, 8, 16 and 17 years old at the time. But the two oldest, who graduated from high school after their mother left, are not biologically Jerred’s children.

“Their dad took off on them when they were one and two years old. I got them when they were five and six. When she took off on us, she’s abandoning her biological kids,” he said. “They’re not my biological kids but they’re mine. I love them to death.”

Jerred is now left to pick up the pieces. She had an $80,000 a year job that paid the bills while he stayed at home with the kids and tried to run a small business. He said the family will likely lose their home in the summer, despite help from close friends who stepped in after his wife walked away.

“It’s so tough. My kids are great, they’re troopers,” he said. “You just question all the time.”

Jerred said he is in the process of filing for divorce. Still, the hardest part for his family is trying to understand how someone could decide to leave such a wonderful life, and everyone in it, behind.