Why some women choose Galentines over Valentines. And how they might celebrate

Christie O’Sullivan of Trinity, Florida, has spent 21 Valentine’s Days with her husband, but her favorite celebration was one spent with a girlfriend before she got married.

They took the day off work, got massages, and went out for cocktails and a fancy dinner.

“For me, it was 10 out of 10. That whole day was intentional,” said O’Sullivan. She remembers it as empowering “on a day that’s usually filled with pressure to be in a relationship, or sadness because I wasn’t currently in one.”

Galentine’s Day became a pop culture phenomenon with a 2010 episode of the TV comedy “Parks and Recreation” that celebrated female friendships around Valentine’s Day. Amy Poehler’s character, Leslie Knope, gathered her gal pals on Feb. 13.

“What’s Galentine’s Day? Oh, it’s only the best day of the year,” said Knope.

Honoring female friendships can happen any day of the year, of course. Whether on Feb. 13 or another day, here are some ways to create a fun-filled experience:

Making it a party

Chela Pappaccioli of Franklin Lakes, New Jersey, has been hosting a Galentine’s Day bash at her home for the last three years. She has a bartender and a DJ hired, and this year invited 45 of her nearest and dearest. So far, she has 34 confirmations, and is assembling gift bags for her guests to take home. There are no men allowed “unless the bartender happens to be male.”

The event may be extravagant, but Pappaccioli says it’s worth it.

“It’s an escape to just be with your girls, be silly, do something fun and just focus on the friendships you’ve created and enjoying each other’s company,” she says.

Learning how to do something new

Liz Momblanco of Berkley, Michigan, who describes herself as a “serial hobbyist,” invites her friends to take classes like cookie and cake decorating, calligraphy and stained glass.

“I enjoy learning something new and having a shared experience,” said Momblanco, who has attended day retreats for women that offer activities like floral arranging, yoga or a cold plunge.

Marney Wolf, who runs the retreat company Luna Wolf, says providing an opportunity for art and creativity builds community.

“It bonds you, whether it’s the smallest thing or really deep. You watch these grown women turn into almost like a childlike kindergarten response like, ‘Oh my gosh! Good job! You’re so talented!’ That little lift is the easiest thing to do,” she said.

Filling a Valentine’s void

Wolf takes care to schedule Galentine’s-themed retreats near Valentine’s Day because some women don’t have someone to spend Feb. 14 with.

“I know it can be a really lonely time for people and I think some take it for granted,” she says.

Pappaccioli said a couple of divorced friends come to her party, and “even if you’re married it can be depressing because your husband may not be doing what you want or your boyfriend may not support you in the way you want,” she says.

“It’s nice to know that you don’t need that. You can still celebrate the holiday, but turn it around a little bit and celebrate the relationships you want to.”

Creating different kinds of bonds

Galentine’s Day get-togethers can forge new friendships. And spending quality time with a friend provides an opportunity to put the phone away, avoid distractions and build memories.

O’Sullivan is a social media strategist for businesses but appreciates that her bestie Valentine’s Day was without cellphones.

“We could be fully present — no photos, no texts, no nothing,” she says.

“So while that means there’s no actual record of that day occurring, it also means the details became a core memory without it.”

Some celebrate Galentine’s Day by just going out for coffee or playing cards. You might go with a group of women friends to a play or museum, or take a hike or a workout class.

Other ideas include thrift store shopping, country line dancing, roller skating, karaoke, junk journaling, and getting manicures and pedicures.