My Oscar Picks!!!!

– Dori writes…

Sunday is when the stars come out to shine and Oscar is king. And in the spirit of this most special occiasion, I am offering my annual Oscar predictions. Vegas bookies quake at the uncanny accuracy of my picks every year. I’m not responsible for any financial losses, but you can bet your home on my freakishly precient picks…

BEST PICTURE:

– Amour – never heard of it

– Argo – sounds boring

– Beasts of the Southern Wild – never heard of it

– Django Unchained – sounds boring

– Les Miserables – that’s how I would feel if I ever got dragged to it

– Life of Pi – The only one I’ve seen – it was kind of blaaahhhh….

– Lincoln – Didn’t see it – I already heard how it ends

– Silver Linings Playbook – No interest

– Zero Dark Thirty – When did they start having nine Best Picture nominees? That’s too many

BEST ACTOR:

– Bradley Cooper – Silver Linings Playbook – Don’t get me wrong – I think he’s a good looking guy… but no

– Daniel Day-Lewis – Lincoln – I have a weirdly philosophical problem with hypenated last names

– Hugh Jackman – Les Miserables – I don’t know if he’s American – but I’m guessing he’s not – so that’s a “no” from me

– River Phoenix – The Master – I think it’s sad that he died outside The Viper Room

– Denzel Robinson – Flight – just watched this last weekend – I found it – and him – kind of boring

BEST ACTRESS:

– Jessica Chastain – Zero Dark Thirty – Never heard of her

– Jennifer Lawrence – Silver Linings Playbook – Never heard of her

– Emmanuelle Riva – Amour – Never heard of her

– Quvenzhane Wallis – Beasts of the Southern Wild – Her name has an accent over the second “e” – my blog software doesn’t allow me to include that – but that’s an automatic disqualifyer in my book

– Naomi Watts – The Impossible – No

So there you go – mortgage your house and put it all on my picks – and I’ll see you at the casino cashier window Monday morning!!