REVIEW: The Three Stooges: WARNING: hitting someone with a hammer can be dangerous

When I was about six or seven, I remember thinking the Three Stooges were very funny … about 20 minutes at a time. Time passed, and the Stooges became an affectionate memory.

I took a trip down nostalgia lane and watched a screening of The Three Stooges, the reboot from Fox which no doubt hopes for a lucrative franchise. Reviewers have not been kind. In an audience of all reviewers and one kid, I never heard anyone laugh, though I almost did.

Does that mean The Three Stooges fails to deliver? Absolutely not.

The remake of the Stooges captures the essence of Larry, Curly and Moe with more precision than I would have expected. Their voices, interactions and sounds are very much like what the old Stooges had to offer. The problem is, I am older — and I am sad to say the Stooges are no longer funny to me (with the exception of Larry getting hit on the head and confessing he now feels a headache coming on — that one gets me every time.) Reviewers seem to be judging the movie on standards no Stooges movie should be judged on.

It’s SUPPOSED to be stupid. It’s SUPPOSED to be juvenile. It’s SUPPOSED to be obnoxious. And it is.

As a Stooges movie, I think it’s a direct hit. Sean Hayes (of Will and Grace fame) nails the role of Larry, Chris Diamantopoulos captures the character (caricature?) of Moe with relish, and Will Sasso re-inhabits the Curly of old. As they cause chaos, break things, smack each other and everyone around them it’s like watching the old stooges come to life. Again, the problem is, maybe you won’t want to if you’re not a boy, or if you are a boy and over 12.

And that’s where the Stooges made a mistake. It’s essentially a harmless movie. But it’s being marketed as though it could be edgy. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model Kate Upton is featured in nearly all the commercials in a revealing, nun-inspired swimsuit. While she is a stunner to look at, you see more of her body in the commercial than in the movie. The problem with that is, it give the idea that the Stooges is raunchier than it is and that could turn families away. There’s a similar problem with Larry David as Sister Mary-Mengele. His depiction in the movie makes it appear that the stooges will be disrespectful to the nuns, who are mostly treated sympathetically. The beautiful and talented Jennifer Hudson plays a sympathetic advocate of the Stooges, as does the very funny Jane Lynch, whose comedic talents are inexplicably not utilized here.

The entire cast seems to be having a good time, and the movie delivers on what it promises.

That said, I felt exhausted for having sat through it.

For Stooges fans, I say GO! For those who have left the Stooges behind … go only if you bring a hammer with which to knock yourself out.

Speaking of hammers…

At the end of the Stooges the film’s directors, brothers Bobby and Peter Farrelly (most famous for Dumb and Dumber and There’s Something about Mary) actually appear on screen and warn the audience that getting hit by a hammer could seriously hurt someone. They then demonstrate that the hammers were fake, and the eye pokes were not really happening either. I sat there thinking, “Are we going to have warnings after Woody Woodpecker and Daffy Duck too? Are kids so stupid these days that they need warnings that we never did? Is this a sign of the end of the world!!!???”

Making the whole thing even more awkward was that Peter Farrelly comes out with his shirt unbuttoned, which would make sense if he were talking from a beach, but he seems to be in a warehouse. It’s as if he has worked out to the point of good abs, and now seeks to share them with the world. Awkward.