Fingerprint everyone at birth to keep criminals off the streets

A fingerprint on a road flare might be the only thing connecting two men with fires on I-5.

Investigators are looking for the men suspected of lighting multiple small fires up and down the highway near Marysville on Tuesday, causing lengthy backups for drivers as firefighters battled the blazes.

Of course, the suspects would be caught a lot faster if everyone in the country was fingerprinted at birth, KIRO Radio’s John Curley said. Put everyone’s fingerprints in a giant database.

“Think about how quick we could catch people,” Curley told KIRO Radio’s Tom Tangney. It would allow law enforcement to focus on more important crimes.

Not everyone wants the government to know that much, unless completely necessary, Tom responded.

The suspected arsonists are believed to have driven away in a Hyundai Sonata after being spotted by law enforcement, according to the Washington State Patrol. No license plate number was taken down.

“That’s the bigger story,” Curley said. “A Hyundai can beat [law enforcement] in a race.”

Nevertheless, officers wouldn’t have to rely so much on catching people in the act if everyone was fingerprinted. The idea just needs to be sold to people by saying agencies are wasting taxpayer money on petty crimes, Curley said.

“Just let us fingerprint your kid when they come into the world,” he added.

Why not go further with the idea and implant chips in the back of their neck, Tom asked. That way, the government can track every movement.

“Why not have the loving, caring federal government, like a father figure to so many of us … keep track of us,” a sarcastic-sounding Curley suggested. “After all, we’ve turned our health care over to them…”