Rantz: Christmas and Hanukkah gifts to deal with Seattle’s many problems

In the spirit of Christmas and Hanukkah, rather than exclusively complain about the blight that Seattle has become to Washington state, thanks to rudderless and feckless politicians, I thought I’d offer the best gifts for you or your loved ones this holiday season. Each should be able to make Seattle less insufferable or maddening.

For the downtown small business owner: Owning a business in downtown Seattle can be rough. With the council and mayor’s Office preventing the cops from doing their jobs, the intersection of addiction and homelessness is impacting the entire neighborhood. Get the small business owner in your life the gift that keeps on giving: Sharps and Biohazard Waste Disposal Container (Pack of 2) by Oakridge Products. For only $19.99, it’s a steal (or, rather, someone will probably steal them so get a few replacements). Now, you can have a safe place to dispose of any used needles that the homeless leave around your entryway or in your bathrooms. We’re not offering treatment or nor are cops allowed to use jail time as leverage to arrest their drug dealers, so use one of these handy containers to keep your customers and employees safe from getting stuck.

For the young professional: We’ve seen an increase in attacks on city streets, ironically just outside the courthouse where these criminals won’t spend much time before being released by Seattle City Attorney Pete Holmes and King County Prosecutor Dan Satterberg. So you’ll need protection. Try the Yoogo Self Defense Keychain, a versatile and small tool to use to protect yourself if you’re ever randomly assaulted. But only use this when you absolutely need to. While Holmes won’t prosecute homeless people who assault at random, he will go hard after tax payers.

For the Socialists: It’s true that Socialist activists aren’t known for a healthy thirst for knowledge beyond parroting what cult-like leaders Kshama Sawant or Bernie Sanders tell them. So, offer them with “The Fallacy Detective: Thirty-Eight Lessons on How to Recognize Bad Reasoning.” Maybe this children’s book will help set them up on the path to realize how their beliefs betray basic logic and reason. But don’t tell them you got it from Amazon for, well, obvious reasons.

For the kids: Have kids? It can’t be fun walking them through the city as people shoot up or use sidewalks as toilets. They don’t need to see that. So, get them an inexpensive Bluetooth VR Headset with Earphones. You can can carry your kids through Pioneer Square or SoDo to T Mobile Park while they watch whatever it is kids watch these days (Spongebob? No, that’s racist. Dora the Explorer?). Yes, the device is likely to be stolen and never recovered, sold for heroin, but relax. It’ll only set you back $59.99 and that’s well worth protecting your kid’s innocence.

Mayor Durkan and the city council: On the off chance you’re friends with the mayor or anyone on the council, the best gift you can give them is a copy of the WA State Constitution. It’s free and online, too! Granted, with Attorney General Bob Ferguson in office, it may not mean anything right now. But he’s up for re-election and one can dream, right?

Listen to the Jason Rantz Show weekday afternoons from 3-6 p.m. on KTTH 770 AM (or HD Radio 97.3 FM HD-Channel 3). Subscribe to the podcast here.

Follow @https://twitter.com/jasonrantz