Father claims Snohomish teacher tore his family apart

A Snohomish High School teacher and former debate coach spent years sending inappropriate, late-night texts and emails to one of his students.

Two years later and after an investigation conducted for the school district, the victim’s father says Bill Nicolay tore his family apart.

But there’s a rub. His daughter doesn’t actually view herself as a victim.

“[My daughter] is in a very fragile state; we’ve just begun counseling sessions with her,” the father told me. “It was very devastating to us to know that someone we raised, diapered, loved, and nurtured would turn out to be angry with us for proceeding with an investigation of the teacher.”

(Note: I have agreed to keep the family’s identity anonymous, as the names are redacted in the investigative documents)

Allegations

The alleged conduct began in the 2013-14 school year when Nicolay told investigators he grew concerned with the 17-year-old girl’s emotional well-being.

Consequently, Nicolay would send emails to the girl from his personal email account, engaging in conversations about the girl’s then-boyfriend. He was not a fan.

In an email on the evening of March 25, 2014, Nicolay called the boyfriend “…incredibly manipulative, self-centered, and sociopathic.” He would go on to encourage her to engage in an exercise to re-envision the perfect boyfriend. He wrote:

“We get to create the ideal young man for you. I think we should call him Asahel, simply because the name is biblical and cool and bell-bottom bitchin’ and I like it. He can go by Asa for short, if you want, which is really buff and manly. He has an extra toe on his left foot, which he is thinking of having removed, and a large birthmark on his left shoulder blade, but he is handsome and intelligent and creative, and he loves for what she is, and loves her even more for what she is not.”

He then asks her to role play the scenario of meeting him for the first time. After she would write up the imaginary interaction in the first paragraph of this story, Nicolay said, “I get to write the second [paragraph].”

Nicolay defended this exercise to Richard H. Kaiser, the attorney who conducted the investigation, saying he didn’t think it was out of line.

The girl’s father disagrees.

“The most interesting thing is that they were conversations that were more adult in nature,” the father told me. “Talking about boyfriends, that they were sociopaths, or that he would like to slap one of the students around. He would make illusions to things like, ‘you might be pregnant.’ Once we read through that, it was just unbelievable.”

The interactions would escalate. There were texts. Many texts, some while he was under the influence of pain killers.

The investigative documents show that Nicolay messaged her more than 1,500 times, on many personal topics, including her relationship with her parents, encouraging her to work out “boundary issues” with them.

Not happy that Nicolay was texting his daughter, the father confronted him, asking him to stop.

“He was afraid when we started to press him on things,” the father said. “You can see that he was agitated.”

Nicolay would continue to talk to the girl, including suggesting that she delete the conversations. Then, the girl started to pull away from her family. Her father believes Nicolay tried very hard to “groom” her into taking his side over her parents.

“What happened… was a slow, methodical wearing down and a calculated plan on behalf of Bill Nicolay to, I guess I would say, farming these kids, or ‘grooming them’ would be the more accurate term, for ‘use’ I guess,” the father said. “I think [he did this] to make her more vulnerable and dependent on him.”

Given the context of the emails and texts, I asked the father if he thought Nicolay and his daughter had a sexual relationship. He said, “I do.”

“I have no evidence, however,” he exclaimed. “I hope not. I’m hopeful that it was not the case.”

According to the investigative documents, there is not sufficient evidence to find that Nicolay was intentionally sexual and the girl denies any sexual contact.

But at the same time this was going on, Nicolay is accused of inappropriate conduct with another girl, who told Kaiser that Nicolay flirted with her, commented on her appearance, and hugged and kissed her on the forehead when they had private sessions. Further, it is alleged that Nicolay took her to lunch, gave her a birthday present, told her about his personal life, and warned her that boys in her grade might be attracted to her. Kaiser did note that, despite the girl’s discomfort, the “conduct appears more paternal than sexual.”

Punishment

In conclusion, Kaiser said that Nicolay admitted his conduct was not “consistent with the generally recognized practices of educators.” He went on to say that “he did not know the guidelines for educators.” Though, the investigation notes that on at least three separate occasions, the Snohomish School District trained Nicolay on “his duty to maintain a professional relationship with students.”

His punishment for the conduct? Two paid weeks off tacked onto his summer vacation. The girl’s father is not satisfied.

“This man has no business being around kids,” he said.

He questions why Snohomish Superintendent William Mester would allow Nicolay to continue teaching, especially given Nicolay’s conduct in 2005.

Repeated behavior

The Snohomish School District has previously investigated Nicolay for an inappropriate relationship with a student. The investigation says Nicolay took the underage student on outings, including an overnight, three-day backpacking trip, and had multiple late night phone calls with students, after 10 p.m., some that exceeded 30 minutes. Nicolay did not dispute the conduct.

As a result, he was disciplined with a five-day suspension without pay; a punishment Nicolay didn’t appeal. At the time, he was warned that “[a]ny further instances of conduct of this nature will result in further disciplinary action up to and including termination of your employment with the Snohomish School District.”

He was then required to undergo one-on-one training for maintaining professional relationships with students.

Broken family

The father of the girl subjected to Nicolay’s conduct feels broken and distraught. His daughter won’t talk to him, blaming him for egging on the investigation into her teacher’s conduct &#8212 conduct that most parents would find unacceptable, but teenagers looking to be treated as adults would find admirable.

He just wants her to come home so they can work on their relationship.

“I would want to tell her that we love her. That this is not her fault. It’s not your fault. This is a teacher who exploited a lot of people, he exploited you, and I want to tell you come home. The door’s always open, we’ll always love you no matter what,” he said.

The superintendent’s office has twice turned down the opportunity to go on the record concerning Nicolay’s case. The Snohomish High School principal turned down an interview request. Nicolay hasn’t responded to interview requests. Kaiser has no comment.