There’s re-gifting and then there’s whatever John Curley does

The idea of re-gifting, stealing and exchanging gets shuffled in John Curley’s mind. (AP)

To re-gift or not to re-gift? It’s an ethical quandary that many juggle this time of year.

Unless you’re KIRO Radio’s John Curley, where re-gifting sounds an awful lot like a casual burglary.

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While Curley has, let’s call them loose morals on this subject, whether it’s a Costco tin of Hawaiian Macadamia nuts in the chocolate/wax or something larger, he’s not afraid to re-gift. Meanwhile, co-host Tom Tangney thinks it’s rude to re-gift, even if the initial gifter doesn’t know about it.

Tom Tangney: They don’t know, but still I feel like there’s a kind of ethical responsibility to not give away the gift that you were given. I have like a 10 year rule. If you gave me a gift, John, I would feel morally obligated to hang onto that gift, as long as I thought you actually meant it for me and it wasn’t just some slapdash kind of thing.

John Curley: Let’s use the Costco Hawaiian macadamia nuts … I give you those, do you re-gift it?

TT: No, I’d probably eat it. But the point is, yeah on something like that if it just feels like it’s a gesture gift than I don’t have a problem with that.

JC: So it’s the obligatory gift, the gift just to give so you did a gift. There’s not as much value to that, is there?

TT: No absolutely not.

JC: OK, good. Then I don’t feel bad about what I do with wine.

This is where the slippery slope of Grinchery begins.

Curley says when he’s invited to a busy party, he haphazardly brings a bottle of wine that is, for all intents and purposes, hiss entry fee into the event. He drops his bottle of wine on the ubiquitous granite counter top that looks as if it’s a wine store going-out-of-business sale. In Curley’s mind, that much wine is practically “an inconvenience for the host.” So, he tries to help out.

JC: I break away from a conversation I’m not interested in and at that point I begin shopping the bottle.

TT: Oh no.

JC: Yes, for a fancier label, one I can’t pronounce, for a later date. So if I brought a 2014, well I’m looking for a 2012, 2008, anywhere in there. And if it has a fancy French thing that I can’t pronounce &#8212 a lot of vowels in a row, that’s the one I’m going for. So when I go to leave…

TT: To drink, you mean?

JC: No. To steal.

TT: No, you don’t…

JC: Well, not steal. It’s an exchange. I’m leaving you one. I brought one, which by the way, you’re never gonna know.

TT: It’s like the wedding feast at Cana upside down &#8212 he turns water into wine, bring the best wine at the end. You bring the worst wine and leave with the best wine.

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JC: Because it doesn’t feel like it’s recognized in any way, it’s obligatory. It’s much like the birthday card they pass around here at KIRO. Nobody ever bothers to read what they wrote.

TT: Are you kidding? You mean the recipients of the card do not read that? Of course they do.

JC: No they don’t. There’s scribbles all over it.

TT: They say, couldn’t John have come up with something better than, ‘Good luck.’ … When I sign them, I read what everyone else wrote. I think it’s interesting.

JC: All I’m gonna say is it’s the same thing as the bottle of wine, it’s obligatory, so it has no meaning, the same way you would give away my Hawaiian macadamia nuts. I can go in, hand in a bottle of wine, take a different bottle of wine, and leave with it.

TT: No John, first off, why do you take it? The idea is, it’s your entry fee. You don’t get your money back at the end of the movie, you give it to the host for hosting the party. They can do what they want with that bottle of wine, including re-gift it if they want.

JC: … I think of it this way, if the person is inviting me to their party, they should know who I am.

TT: THIEF! That’s great, I’m having ethic issues about re-gifting and you, you’ve abandoned all morality to declare to yourself, ‘Hey he knew I was a thief.’  … Not that I ever would, but you will not be invited to my parties. Ever.

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