Good luck making close friends after age 30

After age 30, is it harder to turn introductions into a true friendship? (AP Photo/file)

Does your ability to make a best friend dwindle as you
age? A recent New York Times
article suggests connecting in a B.F.F. way may become
more and more difficult after age 30.

“In your 30s and 40s, plenty of new people enter your
life, through work, children’s play dates and, of course,
Facebook. But actual close friends – the kind you make in
college, the kind you call in a crisis – those are in
shorter supply,” writes Alex Williams.

“Are you OK with that?” asks Seattle Morning News host
Bill Radke in a discussion of the article.

“I don’t believe that,” says news anchor Linda Thomas.

Thomas says she’s remained social past age 30, in part,
thanks to social media.

“That helps us connect with more and more people. Of those
people, you can develop close friendships. You can develop
real-world friendships from social media. I’ve done that.
I’ve created a lot of probably best friends since
college,” says Thomas.

The article says with age, the three conditions considered
essential to make close friends, “proximity; repeated,
unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages
people to let their guard down and confide in each other,”
diminish.

Co-host Tom Tangney says he’s definitely observed this.

“I do think the opportunities for creating friendships are
fewer and fewer as you get older, especially if you have
kids,” says Tangney. “Your 30s and 40s are the prime
child-rearing ages and you just are so consumed with that
life you don’t have time for any friends, even if you met
people you’d like to stay in touch with.”

A few of the good friends he has made since college, he
says were actually found in a unique experience that very
closely resembled college life.

“I went on a two-week intensive tour of Germany with a
bunch of journalists. We all stayed together. We all
stayed at the same hotels. We ate at the same dinners,”
says Tangney. “I have like three good friends out of that
experience. Why? Because it most replicated what college
actually was like.”

While acknowledging opportunities to find a good buddy
dwindle with age, Tangney says there is at least one
obvious solution.

“I think the solution here is in mid-life you should go
back to college and sort of hang out.”

“Or, get involved in social media,” adds Thomas.

By JAMIE GRISWOLD, MyNorthwest.com Editor