‘I did do this awful thing,’ McEnroe pleads for his life after murdering six

Over seven years after Joseph McEnroe walked into his girlfriend’s parents’ house in Carnation and helped kill six members of the Anderson family, the convicted murderer pleaded for his life before a King County jury.

Last week, surviving family and friends clasped hands in the courtroom while they heard the verdict they’d been waiting for since Christmas Eve 2007: Guilty on all six counts of first-degree murder.

Related: ‘He’s not a human being,’ family says of shooter in Carnation murders

There’s no question McEnroe will spend the rest of his life in jail for killing the Andersons. Now the same jury of 12 will decide if he should be put to death for his crimes.

When the penalty phase of this trial began Tuesday, family members described the anguish of losing Wayne, Judy, Scott, and Erica, and never getting the chance to see young Olivia and Nathan grow up.

On Thursday, Joseph McEnroe himself took the stand.

“I did it because I thought I had to,” he said. “And yeah I know that’s not a very good excuse. But I’m not trying to excuse myself. I’m just trying to explain my actions.”

McEnroe admitted he was “terrified” to speak to the jury during this penalty phase, and relies on a cocktail of drugs for anxiety and depression “so that I can live with myself.”

He insisted murder is completely against his character.

“I’m not a confrontational person. I don’t like hurting people or fighting or even arguing. If it had been up to me, I’d have just left.”

But McEnroe didn’t leave. One by one he shot Michele’s parents, Wayne and Judy, and hid their bodies in a shed. The pair then waited for Michele’s brother Scott and his wife Erica to arrive with their children. McEnroe and Michele had decided they too had to die.

“There is no question of that. I did do this awful thing, yes.”

During testimony, McEnroe said he hates the sound of his own voice and his obvious lisp. The court reporter often had to interrupt him for clarification, and his attorney repeatedly asked him to keep his soft voice raised.

Attorneys walked McEnroe through his early life growing up in California. He described having a blood clotting disorder when he was very young. McEnroe said he struggled with a neglectful, sometimes abusive mother. He never met his father.

McEnroe also spoke of a spirit guide named “Crow,” which he called a “totemic animal spirit.”

He claimed to have felt alienated from everyone, and bounced between a series of girlfriends’ homes before meeting Michele Anderson online.

It was this relationship, he claimed, that compelled him to kill six people on Christmas Eve 2007, including 3-year-old Nathan and 5-year-old Olivia.

“I did not do this because I was trying to hurt them or anything else. I did this because I was trying to protect Michele,” McEnroe said, his voice barely above a whisper.

He said, to this day, it is very loud inside his head.

“It’s like being in the middle of a hurricane,” he told jurors. “The noise and the anger and the recriminations are overwhelming.”

McEnroe’s mother and mental health experts who examined him are also expected to testify on his behalf.