Dori: An ode to my (soon-to-be-replaced) knee

I started getting emotional over my upcoming knee replacement on Monday.

It’s not the surgery that has me upset. Surgery is a breeze. It’s saying goodbye to a piece of my body that has been there for me since the beginning.

When I was 9, we had a doorway in our house that I always wanted to touch the top of. Every time I would run from the kitchen to the living room, I would jump and try to touch it, but I never quite made it. One day, my baseball coach, Gene Caruso, called me to tell me I made the Little League majors. I was so excited that I ran for the 500th time, jumped up, and touched the top of the doorway for the first time ever.

It was all thanks to my knees.

Dori says goodbye to his appendix

After living with knee pain for so long, I was really emotional when the doctor told me, “You’ve got no other choice. You’ve tried everything else.”

This knee took me above basketball rims — and I’m just 5-foot-8. It has helped me jump — literally — to heights I never imagined possible. It took me to the top of the Eiffel Tower.  And now they’re cutting it out of me.

I’m going to miss it so much.

It’s not just knee surgery. That would be different. But a replacement means they’re actually removing a part of my body and putting in something created by man, instead of the divinity of God.

I had my appendix removed two years ago, but my appendix was routine. It was no better than any other appendix. My knee was extraordinary. I could jump better than 95 percent of people.

This is like that first love lost. You find the person you will be with for life, and you’re happy, but you can still be wistful over the love that was before.

I asked if I could keep it, but I don’t think they let you. Just in case they make an exception, I’ll bring a giant jar of formaldehyde with me.

I was trying to think of a song for my knee, and this is what I came up with.

In all seriousness, I cannot wait to be done with the pain. Believe me, I’ve never been more excited for a medical procedure in my life. I’ve been in so much pain for so long. The last six months have been almost unbearable. I’m so thankful to live in an era when they can do something about this pain and give my leg another chance.

I also sincerely need to thank you, my listeners. I have so much empathy for people with chronic pain — when it’s your constant companion every second of every day, it just wears you down. For the first time in my life, I was not who I wanted to be. Thank you, because I still have this real intense sense of competitive pride about the show and devotion to you. If you give me some of your time in the afternoon, I’ll give you my very best. For the last six months, noon to 3 p.m. were the best hours of my day, because I had to focus and forget about the pain. Thank you.

I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. But I won’t see my right knee again. Goodbye to you.

Listen to the Dori Monson Show weekday afternoons from 12-3 p.m. on KIRO Radio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

Follow @http://www.twitter.com/dorimonson