Night of the iguana: Agent, landlord hell

Not only is it often a difficult task to play landlord, but it also can be tough to be an agent.

A veteran real estate agent passed along a provocative story about her inability to sell a home because of uncooperative tenants. Every time the agent asked to make an appointment to show the house, the family renting the home stated, “that isn’t really a good time.”

“We finally got in there and we could not believe our eyes,” said the agent, now retired. “The place had clutter, junk everywhere. There were those sticky fly strips around that were completely filled with flies and water stains on the walls that everybody could see.

“But what bothered me the most is when I walked through a doorway and saw the iguana.”

An iguana? How could an owner with all his senses not know such things were taking place in the property?

“Some homes have absentee landlords who are out of the area – even out of the country,” the former agent said. “They have no idea what goes on in some of these homes. When they want to sell, agents are instructed to send the offer via a fax directly to the seller.”

Her associate had just entered the real estate business after teaching high school for 26 years. Needless to say, the iguana caught her eye in the dark, 1,500-square foot home.

“I guess I’ve led a sheltered life,” the associated said. “But I cannot believe some of the things I’ve seen in some homes in such a short period of time. I have probably seen homes in worse structural condition, but this was so dirty . . .”

The associate felt the renters actually wanted to buy the house and steered other potential buyers away with negative statements about the home.

“The renters told me not to go out on the deck or it would fall down,” the associate said. “But I’ll tell you what. I stayed close by the door. There were ferrets in the lower level and the place just smelled so awful. The nicest thing about the while place was the Husky that greeted you at the entry.”

The mention of the Husky story really hit close to home. We once owned a cute rambler on a hillside that we rented to a recently married couple. We drove past the property for months and kept tabs on the monthly checks so that we could pay the mortgage on the rental in a timely fashion.

One day, we noticed the yard was littered with boxes and a huge metal desk. When they were still in the yard three days later, I decided to pay the occupants a visit. When I knocked on the door, I was greeted by the man and two huge German shepherds. His wife had moved out of the house two months ago and he was keeping the dogs in the second bedroom – once reserved for his out-of-state in-laws.

We had a “no pets” clause in the rental agreement, but it seemed like an eternity before we could get the man out of the house. He fought us at every turn, making it impossible for us to recruit another tenant or potential buyer. We eventually had him evicted and spent all of our savings getting the house back in shape.

Sometimes, even a good pet can leave a pet smell in a home. Some folks are allergic to even the slightest pet odor, so it’s often best to replace the carpet before putting the home on the market. Not only does it give the home a clean and fresh look, but it also shows the prospective buyer that you care about the condition of your home – and perhaps tried to remedy a difficult living situation.

Bob Bruss, the late attorney whose syndicated column appeared in more than 200 newspapers around the country, had been a huge proponent of only providing carpet, paint and light fixtures – unless circumstances are extreme – before putting a home back on the market.

His credo: “Never consider buying a single-family rental home more than 30 minutes away by car.”

In other words, don’t even think about being an absentee landlord if you are going to actively consider the landlord game. Bruss advised that all potential landlords run credit checks on applicants plus requiring a large security deposit plus the first month’s rent before the tenant takes occupancy.

“I certainly know our clients didn’t make on offer on that home,” the former agent said. “It was embarrassing even taking somebody through there. But how did we know what was going to be inside?”