Ron: How to both survive and enjoy Seafair

Since Seattle has been the fastest growing city in the United States for some time, I thought I’d take a second and give a few pointers to the new folks as Seafair Weekend kicks off.

First up, if you like quiet, small gatherings with plenty of personal space, I’d recommend that you skip town this weekend. Seafair is loud. Seafair is sweaty. Most of the time Seafair is rowdy, and it’s going to be crowded and somewhat a pain in the butt.

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But it’s also worth it if you’ve never done it.

So let’s start with the headliners. If you own a boat, use the boat.

If you know someone who owns a boat, figure out how to get on that boat, but don’t be a mooch. This is coming from a former mooch. At the very minimum, bring some food and booze. A bag of chips and some beers in a can do not count. Come on, be an adult. Get a bottle of wine or spirits and some food not made in a factory. You should probably offer to buy some gas too. Filling up boats is expensive.

Now make yourself useful on the boat. Pick up some bottles, tidy up the cabin, don’t be a slob. As Don’s Grandpa use to say, “If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.” And did I mention, do NOT be a mooch.

If you’re land locked, and you’ve never been to the hydro and air show, you should do it. It’s basically at the same park. It’s going to be really loud, really crowded, and really interesting. Walk down to the pits and take a look at these amazing water craft. Find a good spot to post up so you can watch the Blue Angels. Bring some sunscreen and some cash.

And be patient, you’re going to see a lot of rookie mistakes. People will be bumbling around in front of you and generally not knowing what they are doing. Prepare for drunk people doing drunk people stuff. Prepare for kids that will be doing their best Keystone Cops routine. That’s all part of the game, lean into it.

If you’re more of a get in, get out person, there are plenty of good spots to watch the Blue Angels. If you happen to work for a big tech company that has a rooftop deck, that’s a pretty good spot to watch. Forgive me for letting the cat out of the bag, Islanders, but the Mercer Island lid is always a fan favorite. Go with it, raise a glass, and shout ‘Merica when the birds thunder by.

This is Seattle’s signature event, you should check it out. I understand that it’s not for everyone, but you never know until you try.

To summarize:

• Sunscreen
• Cash
• Don’t be a mooch
• Be patient

And have fun, that’s the whole point, right?

You can hear “What are we talking about here?” everyday at 4:45 p.m. on 97.3 FM.

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