SEATTLE NEWS ARCHIVES & FEATURES

The worst movies of 2013

Jan 6, 2014, 12:43 PM | Updated: 1:24 pm

Johnny Depp, left, as Tonto, and Armie Hammer, as The Lone Ranger, in a scene from the film, &#8220...

Johnny Depp, left, as Tonto, and Armie Hammer, as The Lone Ranger, in a scene from the film, "The Lone Ranger." (AP)

(AP)

Michael Medved welcomed friendly rival, and former colleague, film critic Jeffrey Lyons to his show to discuss some of the year’s worst movies.

One of the worst was the campy TV movie “Sharknado,” which Medved included on his list because the creators screened the movie in theaters. And, it sold out.

“Well, Wayne Newton sells out too, so who knows?” Lyons retorted.

Medved and Lyons agreed that “The Counselor” was one of the year’s worst. The film had an all-star cast, including Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz, Penelope Cruz, and Michael Fassbinder; famed author Cormac McCarty wrote it, and Ridley Scott directed. But, the plot made little sense, and the violence was tawdry.

“If I’m going to dislike a movie with Penelope Cruz, it really has to be rotten,” Lyons said.

“I reviewed it with the like ‘no country for anybody,'” Medved said, referring to “No Country For Old Men,” writer McCarthy’s famed novel.

They also hated “Last Vegas,” which starred Michael Douglas, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Kline as a pack of aging friends who go to Vegas for a bachelor party.

“It’s like prostates go to Vegas,” Lyons said.
“It’s kind of ‘The Hangover’ for the Viagra set,” Medved said. “It didn’t quite qualify for very worst of the year – but, dishonorable mention.”

In the same category, Lyons and Medved hated “The Hangover III,” lamenting the wasting of actor Bradley Cooper’s talent.

“This was an awful movie,” Medved said of that – thankfully – last Hangover movie.

Also on their list was “The To Do List,” starring Aubrey Plaza as a girl on a mission to lose her virginity, and “Pain and Gain,” starring The Rock and Mark Wahlberg as body builders who engage in criminal activities.

But, at least for Lyons, the most ire was reserved for “The Lone Ranger,” starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer.

“It trashed one of my boyhood heroes,” Lyons said.

Seattle News Archives & Features

Associated Press

3 dead, including suspect, and 2 deputies critically injured in eastern Washington state

SPOKANE COUNTY, Wash. (AP) — A shooting and subsequent firefight with responding officers left three people dead, including the suspect, and two deputies critically wounded in eastern Washington state Tuesday. Deputies responded to a home in Spokane County, which borders Idaho, around 2:30 p.m. after a woman told her neighbor that she had been shot […]

2 days ago

Sedro-Woolley medications missing...

KIRO 7 News Staff

Student medications found missing or diluted at Sedro-Woolley schools

Students’ medications are missing or diluted at multiple schools across the Sedro-Woolley School District, according to a district statement.

16 days ago

In this photo taken with a smartphone, Mike Herrington, the FBI special agent in charge, speaks to ...

Associated Press

Washington resident charged with conspiracy in Canada shool shooting is ordered detained

SEATTLE (AP) — A Washington state resident charged with conspiracy in one of the worst school shootings in Canada’s history has been ordered detained pending further hearings in the case. Melody Bryant, also known as James Cody Bryant, of Bellingham, Washington, was charged this month with conspiring to murder people in a foreign country. Investigators […]

24 days ago

The location of the Vertical Evacuation Tower will be near the Westport Marina. It will be the thir...

Tom Brock

Rising above the risk: Westport breaks ground on Washington’s newest tsunami refuge

The city of Westport broke ground Saturday on what will become Washington state's latest tsunami-safe location: a new vertical evacuation tower.

1 month ago

Andre Sayles (2) bite of seattle shooting suspect...

Tom Brock

Texts on hold: SPD delays Bite of Seattle shooting records

Interim Seattle Police Chief Andre Sayles says he needs more time before he can release the police department's internal communications the night of the deadly "Bite of Seattle" shootings.

2 months ago

Two alleged wire thieves caught in the act on Highway 12 near Aberdeen. Authorities estimate they d...

Tom Brock

Grounded: Grays Harbor deputies cut short highway wire heist

Deputies in Grays Harbor arrested two men Saturday for trying to steal hundreds of feet of wire along Highway 12.

2 months ago

The worst movies of 2013