Turns Out Ridiculously Named Store Could Have Been Even More Ridiculously Named

During her Road Dog Update on Tuesday, Jen was complaining that it seemed like the only grocery stores in the south were part of the H-E-B empire (which, incidentally, didn’t sell wine in some places, much to her sadness) which stands for ‘Here Everything’s Better”. I pointed out a couple of obviously dumb things about that name:

1) It sounds vaguely anti-semetic
2) It’s bizarrely constructed. Even if you were dead set on this dumb name, wouldn’t you call it ‘everything’s better here’?

Well according to listener Daryl, there’s a story behind the name, and however lame H-E-B is, it could have been worse:

As a native Texan, I feel obligated to inform you that the “Here Everything’s Better” story is just a marketing ploy. H.E.B. is actually named after one of the early founders of the company: Howard E. Butt. Yes that’s right. The company apparently went through various names like C.C. Butt Grocery Store and Butt Grocery Company before settling on H.E. Butt Grocery Company.

Check it out for yourself.

With this you can understand one of the oldest jokes in Texas: Did you hear that H.E.B. and Piggly-Wiggly are merging? The new company will be called Wiggly Butt! (Hey, that joke was hilarious when I was 5.)

Let me just disagree with you on one point there Daryl… it’s still hilarious.

— Luke Burbank