‘Serenity’ is a disaster, but there are some nice tropical locations

“Serenity” is one of those films that leaves the most important question about the film totally unanswered: which is, how did you get Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Dianne Lane, and Djimon Hounsou to participate in a film like this? It’s a disaster. It makes no sense.

I give “Serenity” 1.5 out of four stars.

This is a film noir set in a Caribbean Island that may or may not exist called Plymouth. Matthew McConaughey plays a character who barely makes a living taking visitors out on his boat to catch big fish. His ex-wife turns up, and asks him to take out her current husband, kill him, and feed him to the sharks. She offers him $10 million.

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They’re all outstanding actors, and you can’t blame McConaughey’s performance for this. What you have to go to is the script; it just doesn’t add up. Considering how talented these people are, it’s unbelievable that it ends up being this. There are some nice tropical locations, and plenty of big name stars, who seem to be trying most of the time. McConaughey’s character loves to run through the town and take off his clothes for some reason. There’s plenty of McConaughey taking off his clothes; and a little bit of Hathaway taking off her clothes.

“Serenity” will achieve none of that for people. It’s rated R and there are some reputably steamy sex scenes. But the steamy sex scenes don’t even look like they’ve been reheated in the microwave. There’s just no chemistry. It’s hard to read actors’ minds, but it seemed to me inescapable not to think that some of these talented people were thinking, “Am I going to be embarrassed by this?”

The director always says, “Don’t worry, we’re going to fix this in editing.” They didn’t. There surely must be a better way to spend time this weekend.

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