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Dump-diving eagles in Renton bring shame to our nation

(Photo by Amber Wolfe on Unsplash)

The national symbol of America is not comporting itself in way that befits a national symbol, since about 200 bald eagles have been found frequenting the Cedar Hills Regional Landfill near Renton, picking through sweet morsels of trash.

“I realize that that dump is very patriotic, so they need as many bald eagles as they can,” joked KIRO Radio’s Tom Tangney.

It’s no wonder the landfill is popular among eagles, as it’s been at capacity for decades. The county’s current plan is to extend the closing date to 2040 and spend up to $270 million expanding the site, reports The Seattle Times.

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A recently passed amendment would implement a plan to manage the bird population, which also includes ravens, crows, and seagulls, who are dropping garbage all over outside the landfill. One man living near the landfill noted at a recent council meeting that a biohazard bag containing human blood had been dropped by a bird into his yard. At least that’s what he said happened.

“It reminds me that we should have never, ever, ever made the eagle the national symbol. For my own part, I wish the bald eagle was never chosen. He is a bird of bad moral character. He does not get his living honestly,” joked co-host John Curley, doing his best Benjamin Franklin impression.

Franklin found the eagle a “coward” of “bad moral character” who steals from harder working birds, and often retreats in battle.

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“The turkey on the other hand,” continued Curley. “For the truth, the turkey is, in comparison, a much more respectable bird. Sure it’s a little vain, a little silly, but it’s a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attract and attack a British guard who should presume to invade his farm yard with a red coat on.”

Bald eagles are no longer on the Endangered Species Act list, but are still protected under federal law. So it might prove difficult to get them away from the garbage, since it’s a crime to trap, kill, or even “disturb” our great garbage-eating national symbol.

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