Ross: When your kids have you under grocery store surveillance

I have this sweet deal with my two grown children. I’m not really sure how it got started, but when they go shopping at a certain large grocery store, to get the club discount, they enter a phone number.

They’re into the privacy thing too, though – they want the discount, but they figure their number is none of the store’s business. So they don’t enter their phone number. They enter mine.

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And so, when I enter my number to get discount gas, I’m getting something like 50 cents off per gallon every time. This really takes some of the sting out of $3 gas.

Then one day, I get a call.

It’s one of these children I raised. And she says, “Dad, you’ve been buying some crazy things.”

“What do you mean?” I answered.

And she says, “Did you buy hard lemonade?”

I said, “No, that was your mother – and how do you know that?”

So, she explained that when you give the store your number, you get to see a list of what you bought, but of course, since she’s using my number, she also gets to see what I bought. I’ve never bothered to use this feature since I already know what I bought.

I guess what this demonstrates is that some people will do anything to save on gas, but I also found that it might actually have a beneficial effect.

I now find myself buying much healthier stuff because I have an audience. I’m being judged by somebody I helped raise.

Imagine how much healthier we’d all be if we all had grocery buddies watching everything you buy and gently scolding you when you stray.

Anyway, I want to take this opportunity to say – loud enough for the family to hear — that when your mom and I need a buzz, we just pound a six-pack of Blueberry Ginger Kombucha.

If we get the other stuff, we’ll get it at a different store.

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