Dori tells his Costco horror story

Taken from Dori Monson’s show Wednesday in relation to the video of a brawl that broke out in a Canadian Costco parking lot.

I don’t know exactly what it is, but Costco does something to make people crazy.

About 10 years ago, I needed something at Costco on a Saturday. I was getting some meat to grill. And that’s all I needed. So I’m looking to get in and get out.

I think the roller door goes up at 9:30 a.m. and I’m there at 9:22 a.m., but there’s already a big crowd waiting to rush in as soon as they raise the door. So I go in and make a b-line for the one thing I need and am trying to get back to the check stand. Of course, there’s already a bunch of carts in the line.

Related: Stuck elevator one of Dori’s most traumatic life moments

There is one check stand with two carts ready to check out. Then there is a roughly 12-foot gap with a cart filled with two little kids. So a parent put the cart in the aisle and then went back to buy stuff.

Again, there is about a 12-foot gap. So I go and get behind the cart at the check stand. I stand and wait.

Then I hear this voice, “YOU DON’T TOUCH MY KID!”

I don’t even want to see who this guy is talking to or get involved. So I don’t even turn my back. Then I hear the voice getting louder and louder. This guy is walking right at me and his fists are balled up and he’s pointing at me. He’s putting his finger toward my chest.

“YOU DON’T TOUCH MY KID!”

I say, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. He responds, “YOU MOVED MY CART!”

I told him I didn’t touch the cart and that there was a big gap in line; that I didn’t know where he was.

He didn’t believe me and kept yelling.

The woman in front of me turned and backed me up, saying how I didn’t touch the cart. And I didn’t. He’d just left it there. So she’s trying to calm him down. He’s not drunk, it’s only 9:30 a.m.

Now, I’m not the biggest guy in the world, but I could have taken him. If I had to. And I’m almost ready because he’s kind of bowing up on me.

I started laughing because he’s so ridiculous. I said, “Man, you’ve got to chill.”

“I’VE GOT TO CHILL, YOU’VE GOT TO CHILL!” And he’s just wild-eyed and screaming.

All of the sudden the Costco manager comes and takes him, opens up a check stand to fast line him out of the store.

So, this guy, for acting like a maniac is going to get express-lane service to get out of Costco.

But even worse was the poor little kids listening to crazy dad screaming. And as the guy leaves, he walks walking by me glaring and sticking out his chest.

There’s just something about that place that just amps everybody’s fight instincts.

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