Dori for President: It’s starting to feel like a movement…
Oct 11, 2016, 6:20 AM | Updated: 6:44 am
(Drew Barth)
(Drew Barth)
It all begins with an idea. That moment when you look at the internet and say to yourself, “Why not me?”
Before the second hour of the Dori Monson Show resumed Monday, Dori stumbled upon the form for Washington State Declaration of Write-in Candidacy for President and Vice President. It soon became clear what needed to be done.
“I’m formally declaring my intention to be a write-in candidate for President of the United States,” Dori proclaimed.
Have some of the necessary deadlines for candidacy passed? Maybe. Will Dori’s late surge in popularity be enough to unseat Hillary Clinton as the presumptive winner of Washington’s electoral college and popular votes? Probably not. Does that mean Dori is a man without a goal? Absolutely not.
“Jill Stein. The Green Party?” Dori posited. “I could get more votes than her, right?”
As Dori put the rest of the staff members through their paces, determining their level of support, it was ultimately Sean in the booth that took Dori to task. When asked whether Dori could count on his vote come November, the all-knowing man in the booth put Dori on the spot.
“What will you do for me?” Sean inquired.
“I’ll leave you alone,” Dori deftly responded.
Inspiration had struck, a bumper sticker was born and the Dori Monson campaign train had left the station.
Still, the work is far from over. A bumper sticker does not make an entire campaign. Other tent poles are needed to hold up a candidate’s run for office. Dori’s plan for the nation’s budget, foreign policy and more will all be revealed in time. Let’s get to that which is of greatest importance in these initial moments out of the gate: the perfect campaign song.
Some early competitors were bandied about on the show, from Whitesnake to Helen Reddy to Gorillaz. Still, nothing quite resonated with the candidate.
We’re looking at you, America. Send us your campaign song suggestions. Hopefully, we’ll land on a representative musical message that will further engender Dori Monson into the hearts and minds of the people.
Next step: finding a proper running mate. Does 35 in dog years count?
