KIRO NEWSRADIO

How to get out of a ticket, John Curley style

May 24, 2012, 12:01 PM | Updated: Oct 11, 2024, 1:36 pm

atticusA judge in Shoreline is about
to get what could be the finest performance from a guilty
defendant trying to weasel out of a speeding ticket, 97.3
KIRO FM’s John Curley.

Curley gave listeners a sneak peak as he filled in on
the Ross and Burbank Show.

“The truck to the right of me obscured my view of the
flashing yellow sign letting me know, indicating to me,
your honor, that I was entering into a school zone,”
Curley said about the ticket for going 30mph in a 20mph
zone.

But if that doesn’t work, he’s got a backup plan: blame
the sponsor.

“And then as I accelerate off the line in my Cadillac
CTSV from Doug’s Northwest Cadillac, the Northwest’s
number one Cadillac dealer with 575 horsepower, I
accelerated a little faster than I probably I should
have,” Curley says (your mileage may vary.)

And even if that doesn’t fly, Curley is confident he
has an open and shut case.

“The State Trooper who gave me the ticket advised me to
mark the third box, which contests the ticket…Just
between you and me, I marked the third box.”

What Curley means is the trooper likely won’t be there,
meaning just John, his charm and a pitch perfect
performance of the climactic court room scene from “To
Kill a Mockingbird” are all that stands between him and
exoneration.

And if that doesn’t work, he can plead for mercy and
assure the judge it won’t happen again.

“I got a new car from Doug’s Northwest Cadillac, the
Northwest’s number one Cadillac dealer,” Curley laughs.

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How to get out of a ticket, John Curley style