Scenarios: My kid was ‘re-gifted’ a present that belonged to the ‘re-gifter’s’ child, now what?

On the Gee and Ursula Show, hosts Gee Scott and Ursula Reutin take listeners’ advice questions and discuss what they think you should do.

Scenario: I had a birthday party for my son recently and something happened that I’m not so sure how to handle. So it was after the singing of “Happy Birthday” and it was time to open gifts. Folks gathered around to watch as my son opened his gifts. Now it’s about the fourth gift that he’s opened and he was nothing but smiles. But then there was confusion. At that moment, a kid came up and said, “that’s mine, that’s mine, that was in my room, that’s mine.” I quickly put two and two together at that moment, one of his parents must have “re-gifted” this gift. So it wouldn’t cause a big ruckus, I told the child, “ok, ok, we’ll get to the bottom of that once we’re done.” Now I’m in a pickle, that gift was re-gifted and that gift does belong to that child. However, now my child thinks that gift is his. What should I do here?

Ursula: It’s kind of embarrassing for the parent who re-gifted. Oops. I think it’s that parent’s responsibility. Honestly, I’m trying to think what I would do. That has never happened. Although, you know, there are a lot of things that happen during birthday parties. And it’s one of the reasons I think my youngest son never liked opening gifts in front of other people. He was like, I just don’t want all that attention on me. Can we just not do it and let’s just do it after the kids are gone?

Gee: What should you do with the gift?

Ursula: You’re not going to give it back? Are you? Maybe there’s a way to find another gift, I would let the other parents sort it out. But it is embarrassing. And I would just say, if you can, maybe there’s some way to give the kid the gift back and give your kids something else. Or just tell your kid it’s just not that important to have that many gifts. How’s that? Just give it back? All right, I don’t know. I don’t have a good answer.

Chef: So first of all, I kind of actually empathize with the parent that re-gifted something from their own child, because we’ve kind of done this with Matthew. We were like, “look buddy, you’re not using this. You haven’t used it for a year, it’s time to give it away to someone who can actually use it.” And the only time they care about that toy is when it’s being given away. But here’s how I would frame it to your own child. I would say we need to give it back and here’s why. How would you like it if mommy or daddy went into your room and took your fire truck and gave it to someone else? That wouldn’t be stealing, wouldn’t it? Probably make you feel pretty bad if mommy and daddy stole your fire truck and gave it to someone else. You’re not allowed to do things like that. So I understand that you thought it was for you. But it was actually stolen and we don’t accept stolen goods as presents. So we’re going to give it back and if you can do so graciously, tell you what, I promised we’d go for ice cream.

Ursula: Our listeners have good advice, give the toy back to the original kid. The birthday boy receives so many presents. He won’t even remember in a day or two. That’s the best answer.

Gee: I think the best thing to do is is give that gift up and get through with the birthday party, and I guarantee you the child won’t even notice about the gifts. There are probably so many other gifts and so many things going on. Take your child to have ice cream or give them money on Roblucks. Roblox? I don’t even know how you pronounce it. Roblox or Roblucks?

Chef: Roblox.

Gee: Ok, I keep asking that question. I know all the kids love the Roblox. Give your kids more Roblox. If you’re a parent out there, an auntie or uncle, give the kids Roblox. All these other toys don’t matter.

Board Op Nick: To me, this kid is getting a lot of gifts in the first place, so I’m going to ride your coattails Gee. If you take it away from them, I feel like he’s not even going to notice. Go out and get him some ice cream or a new Beanie Baby or seven. Return the gift to the other kid. Just make all the parties happy.

Gee: Ursula, you got to admit, you can’t give the gift back, can you? That’s really throwing it in your face.

Ursula: I actually think the little kid who’s making a stink and saying “hey, that’s mine,” that kid is also going to forget about it in about two seconds. Grab him ice cream.

Chef: That maximizes the embarrassment. Apparently stolen? Here you go, I know you took this from your child.

Gee: Chef, when did you get so petty?

Ursula: Yeah, why do you say stole it?

Chef: What do you call it when you take something that doesn’t belong to you?

Ursula: It’s called being practical. How many toys does a kid need?

Gee: My friends taught me “re-gifting” was a term by “Seinfeld” back in the mid-90s. Just want to say, I will never have a Seinfeld reference again.

Listen to Gee Scott and Ursula Reutin weekday mornings from 9 a.m. – 12 p.m. on KIRO Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.