Brace for the worst traffic of your life

Potential good news for the economy: Chinese President Xi Jinping is in town this week to meet with local business and tech leaders, helping build crucial relationships with significant trade implications. Potential bad news for the economy: almost none of you will be able to get to work due to the obscene traffic congestion expected as a result of this visit.

Chokepoints: Affected roads during the Chinese president’s trip to Seattle?

The traffic will impact absolutely everyone, from transit riders and bicyclists, to pedestrians walking the sidewalks and drivers.

Xi is spending his time at the Westin Downtown, which will close down all the streets immediately surrounding the hotel, for his security. You will have no car or bus access on all streets from Fourth to Seventh Avenues and from Lenora Street to Olive Way in Downtown Seattle.

Related: Seattle transportation study is a ruse

Yes, major traffic spots already congested during commutes will be closed the entire time of his visit. And yes, this will impact Sound Transit and Community Transit users. If you’re walking? You’ll have to pass through security checkpoints. And for the 12 of you on the South Lake Union Streetcar, you won’t be able to take it past Denny Way.

Seattle Department of Transportation Director Scott Kubly made the announcement on Friday, giving most of you very little notice to make alternative plans. Perhaps, it’s because you’re unlikely to find any alternatives that will deliver you any type of relief from the inevitable traffic. And to be fair, SDOT’s been on a mission to get you out of your cars anyway, so they must not mind this inconvenience.

Xi is expected to travel throughout the region, impacting traffic on his way to Everett and Tacoma. Washington State Department of Transportation says entire freeways will be shut down as Xi’s motorcade drives around town (apparently unable to secure a helicopter). And you won’t get much warning from WSDOT, as they won’t post any information signs on the freeways until just moments before Xi drives by.

Related: Traffic study should embarrass state, city leaders

Travis Phelps is a spokesman for WSDOT. He suggests you carpool (I suppose if you’re going to be miserable in traffic, you can do it with a buddy) or telecommute (in his world, he thinks that’s a reasonable option for us). They’ve also set up live tweeting from their Twitter account, though it’s useless since they don’t want you checking your phone (even in stand-still traffic), while in your car.

Now, I understand the importance of this trip, but this kind of traffic interference is overkill. Can the Chinese president not travel by helicopter? Can Xi not stay at a hotel directly in the center of Downtown Seattle &#8212 such as a residence instead? And, ya know, can local and state officials give us some better notice and alternatives than “work from home?”

I better stop before I cause an international trade incident.