Rantz enters Washington State Ferries haiku contest; will certainly fail

Washington State Ferries is near the end of a haiku contest and I couldn’t help but enter — many, many, many times.

The rules were rather simple. Use the traditional 5-7-5 syllable formula for a haiku, inspired by the ferry service. The winning haiku lands on the front page of their Summer 2018 guide. I couldn’t pass up on that potential ego booster and free radio publicity (tune into my morning show, weekday mornings from 6-9 a.m. on 770 AM KTTH and 94.5 FM in the greater Eastside).

As of March 7, only 120 entries were submitted. Consequently, I offered a number of haikus to increase my chances of winning the contest, which will be judged by Washington State Poet Laureate Claudia Castro Luna.

Below are my haikus. Please tell me which one you like one most with a comment below.

Snarky talk show host.
I stand no chance of winning.
Liberal bias? Yup. #WSFHaiku https://t.co/vOi9NDlRMl

— (((Jason Rantz))) on KTTH Radio (@jasonrantz) March 9, 2018

Puke. So much damn puke. 🤮
I don’t do well on big boats.
My stomach is weak.#WSFHaiku https://t.co/vOi9NDlRMl

— (((Jason Rantz))) on KTTH Radio (@jasonrantz) March 9, 2018

Show up early? No.
Surprised you show up at all.
I will drive instead.#WSFHaiku https://t.co/mX73FsNPhX

— (((Jason Rantz))) on KTTH Radio (@jasonrantz) March 8, 2018

Sea sickness gets me.
Big boat? That won’t help at all.
Puke still flows freely. #WSFHaiku https://t.co/vOi9NDlRMl

— (((Jason Rantz))) on KTTH Radio (@jasonrantz) March 8, 2018

Who came up with this?
Focus instead on service.
“Fast” ferry too slow. #WSFHaiku https://t.co/vOi9NDlRMl

— (((Jason Rantz))) on KTTH Radio (@jasonrantz) March 8, 2018

Ferry? I need none.
I have a short work commute.
Yay environment!#WSFHaiku https://t.co/vOi9NDlRMl

— (((Jason Rantz))) on KTTH Radio (@jasonrantz) March 9, 2018

Mean. I know I am.
Boo. I regret my haikus.
I will make it up. #WSFHaiku https://t.co/vOi9NDlRMl

— (((Jason Rantz))) on KTTH Radio (@jasonrantz) March 8, 2018

Really!? A haiku?
Iambic pentameter!
That’s where I excel.#WSFHaiku https://t.co/vOi9NDlRMl

— (((Jason Rantz))) on KTTH Radio (@jasonrantz) March 9, 2018

Jacob’s haiku:

Morning ferry ride.
Hello water, hello sky.
I threw up breakfast.

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