Jake: Costco please add this menu item to your food court, it will be the No. 1 seller instantly

This might reveal too much about myself or the phase of life I’m in, but I spend a lot of my free time thinking about Costco. I don’t see this as a flaw; I see it as a strength.

I’m in there at least once a week. I point out the food court to my kids on the way in and use it as motivation to keep them near the cart so we can get through the aisles efficiently. Good behavior gets rewarded with ice cream. It’s every parent’s dream.

The Costco food court is an American institution. Best deal on pizza anywhere, and the $1.50 hot dog and soda combo is the most famous pairing in the history of hot dog and soda combos — a price that has held firm since 1985 and will hold for the rest of time. It’s a phenomenal deal, and it’s delicious. But I have a suggestion that I’m honestly shocked hasn’t been implemented already.

This past Father’s Day, I got to choose the menu. An old-fashioned backyard barbecue with beautiful weather. Burgers, hot dogs, potato salad, watermelon — the good stuff. And because it’s one of the greatest things in the world, we had corn on the cob. Hand shucked. (That’s a joke you’ll get if you’re a “What About Bob?” fan.)

Here’s the food court addition that could make millions of dads happy

I was eating leftover corn yesterday while prepping for the show, and I had an epiphany: Why doesn’t Costco have corn on the cob at the food court?

Think about it, a giant Costco corn cob — massive, obviously — salted to perfection. Maybe dipped in a buttery glaze or served plain because the sweet, tender juice of a fresh ear of corn needs zero assistance. You don’t even need to invent new packaging. Just double-order the hot dog sleeves and shove a cob in there. Done.

I love Costco so much that part of me wanted to call their corporate offices and quietly pitch this idea in exchange for a piece of the action. But I couldn’t keep it to myself. The world deserves Costco corn on the cob. Just saying it out loud — Costco corn on the cob — rolls right off the tongue. Your mouth is watering right now. Don’t lie.

I would order this constantly. It’s a delicious snack, and I’d feel genuinely healthy eating it. That’s what I tell myself every time I get the hot dog combo too — but with the corn, it would actually be true.

If anyone from Costco is reading this: take this seriously. Add corn on the cob to the food court menu. You will make millions of middle-aged men very, very happy.

Godspeed Costco!

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