Dave Ross as you’ve never heard him before: ‘I like fat books and I can’t deny’

I’ve been cleaning out the desk. There’s a lot to clean out after 47 years.

Those of you who are recent listeners should know that I wasn’t always so serious, which is why I dug up this song, inspired by one of my first interviews when I started my talk show, which was Sir Mix-A-Lot. Mix-A-Lot had a hit with a song called “Baby Got Back,” about his preferred female body type. So I thought, why shouldn’t I borrow that idea for a song about my preferred book authors?

Head here or click on the player below to listen to the song. (It’s a lot more fun if you listen!)

More from Dave Ross: Enough of the broken muffler noise from motorcycles

Woman’s voice: You look at that guy. I mean, is he a nerd or what? Nobody carries that many books and look how thick they are. Totally academic.

Rappin’ Dave: I like fat books, and I can’t deny.

It literally makes me hide when the cover is really shiny and the print is really tiny.

Give me Kafka or Dickens, and left the plot just thinking, let it move me, improve me.

Can’t wait for the movie.

I started small with Mother Goose, worked my way to Dr. Seuss.

My teacher said, ‘Hey, read a real book.’

Hemingway was all it took. His style, is terse but you end up immersed, and then you’re stuck; you’re hooked; you can’t put down that book.

Say, fellas! YEAH!

Fellas! YEAH!

You got your library card.

Then check in, check in, check out that big fat book.

Some folks want quick, but you can make mine thick.

The feeling so outrageous when you turn those naked pages.

And when I’m finally through, I’m gonna have one fat IQ.

My books are thick and heavy.

I pile them in my Chevy.

I like my language strong and I like my novels long.

Give me some book.

My love life is quite active.

My books make me attractive.

Let me give you a little advice.

A big fat book breaks ice.

See, women find it sexy when you quote from Dostoyevsky, and I think it’s really peachy when you mention Bruce to Nietzsche.

Just watch her love increase when you read from “War and Peace” or any other thing that fits in, like Croix to Solzhenitsyn.

Pretty soon you’re both upstairs.

You read her some Voltaire.

Pretty soon you quote Cervantes.

By dawn, you’re reading Dante.

Give me some book.

Give me some book.

Give me Edgar Allan Poe and Harriet Beecher Stowe.

Who knows what you’ll discover when you jump between the covers.

Give me some book.

Give me some book.

Haven’t got a body, but I got much book.

Haven’t got a body, but I got much book.

Haven’t got a body, but I got much book.

Got much book.

Give me some book.

Listen to Seattle’s Morning News with Dave Ross and Colleen O’Brien weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. on KIRO Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

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