‘Go directly past jail, there’s no room’: Jake and Spike reimagine Seattle Monopoly as new game in the works

A Seattle edition of Monopoly is in the works, and the game’s creators are asking the public to suggest locations and landmarks for the board.

Jake Skorheim and Spike O’Neill, co-hosts of “The Jake and Spike Show” on KIRO Newsradio, said the obvious picks are fine, but the game needs to reflect the real Seattle.

“There’s beautiful parts of Seattle,” Jake said. “But there’s also underbelly stuff that you don’t want to ignore. That would be a fun twist to the game.”

The obvious squares

The hosts rattled off the spaces that practically pick themselves.

“Space Needle is going to be there. Pike Place will be there. Lumen Field will be there. T-Mobile will be there,” Spike said. “Mount Rainier probably will be there, even though it’s not Seattle. It’s still an iconic piece of Seattle.”

Jake noted the stadium names create a shelf-life problem.

“If they had done a Seattle Monopoly when I was a kid, it would have been the Kingdome, and then it would have become Safeco Field, and now it’s T-Mobile Park,” Jake said. “It instantly becomes a period piece.”

Listeners called in with their own picks: Ivar’s and Dick’s Drive-In, the Ballard Locks, Alki Beach, Kerry Park, Gas Works Park, and Kenmore Air seaplanes.

The real Seattle version

But the audience didn’t stop at tourist attractions.

“Should a homeless encampment be a permanent location?” Spike asked.

“If it’s accurate to Seattle, then yes,” Jake responded.

Spike had a rule for it.

“You have a piece that just lays over an existing space on the board, and it travels around,” Spike said. “If you build enough houses on either side of it, it has to move.”

“Or you could bring an NGO in and put 45 tiny houses, and you actually end up making money,” Jake added.

Go to jail? Not in this version

Listener Rick the Plumber asked what happens with the “Go to Jail” spot.

“Go directly past jail. There’s no room to put you in,” Spike said.

“It’s actually just a place where they hand out your free drug kits,” Jake said.

Another listener suggested replacing jail with the gum wall: skip an entire turn while you clean it. A texter from the 206 area code offered a different take: “Instead of it being a Go to Jail card, you are a tech worker who has been reassigned to another city, and it’s just Katie Wilson saying ‘bye’ to you.”

Seattle rules

The hosts and listeners reworked the classic cards for a Seattle setting.

“Every Chance card is a Get Out of Jail Free card,” one listener suggested. “Community Chest cards are extra taxes. Instead of houses, tiny homes. Building is delayed because someone is living in a tree.”

Spike added his own: “Your property has been deemed low-income housing. Collect 20% of market value for rent.”

Another listener suggested switching the B&O Railroad to light rail: “Have it cost 1,000 Monopoly money and only charge 30% of who land on it.”

And for Aurora Avenue? “You could incur a medical bill if you land on it,” a listener from Olympia wrote.

The tokens

Listeners also noted the game pieces need a Seattle overhaul, throwing out options like a Starbucks cup, a Mariner, a Seahawk, and an airplane for Boeing.

Jake took it darker, suggesting the game borrow weapons from Clue.

“You could take all of the Clue pieces and make them part of the Monopoly Seattle game, because I think they all apply,” Jake said. “You’d have to add drug paraphernalia, like little needles.”

Jake said the game only works if it reflects reality.

“It would be really courageous of them to create actual big-city problems on these games,” he said.

He pitched one more idea.

“What they should do is a Seattle in the 1990s Monopoly game, when everything was just kind of pie in the sky,” Jake said.

Nominations for the game are open through Oct. 31, and the game arrives in October 2027, according to Seattle magazine.

Watch the full discussion in the video above.

Listen to “The Jake and Spike Show” weekdays from noon to 3 p.m. on KIRO Newsradio 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.