Ross: Dodge Challenger Demon with optional parachute still street legal

Even if police pursuits were routine again, there’d be no catching you behind the wheel of the Dodge Challenger SRT Demon 170.

The V-8 series is going out of production this year, so Dodge engineers decided to produce one last model that the world would never forget.

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So, the Demon 170 – which is named for the proof number of the alcohol-based fuel it burns – will generate 1,025 horsepower.  It can hit 60 in 1.66 seconds and 151 miles an hour in 8.9 seconds, as it Botoxes your face with just over 2gs. Hence the optional parachute package in case there’s a four-way stop up ahead.

The Demon was supposed to be ready long before now, but there was a design problem in that the engine tended to explode and spray parts all over the road.

However, engineers figured out how to keep the parts safely inside the engine, and so the car is completely street-legal.

Me being a party pooper, this all sounds unnecessarily dangerous; however, there are three safeguards.

Number one – buyers will have to sign a notarized disclaimer stating that they understand this is not a normal car intended for everyday driving.

Notarized, which costs $10!

And safeguard number two– prices start at $96,666, not including the parachute. This means that if you get hit by one of these things, the driver is likely to be a billionaire who can easily pay for your rehab.

And safeguard number three, buyers will have to pay the gas guzzler tax of $7,700. And before you whine about how it’s unfair to punish a car for needing a lot of gas, keep in mind that at full speed, the Demon 170 can drain the tank in about five minutes and 45 seconds – provided the engine doesn’t explode first.

This brings me to the number four bonus safeguard – fortunately, there is no public road where you could physically drive at that speed for that long, except in Montana.

I just hope it comes with a robust anti-theft system because once the crooks crack the key code, they’re gone. Assuming they can find a gas station selling racing fuel once their 5 minutes and 45 seconds are up.

By the way, Dodge dealers are also selling a convertible version so that on the way to the drive-in movie, you and your date can feel like CNN correspondents in a hurricane.

Listen to Seattle’s Morning News with Dave Ross and Colleen O’Brien weekday mornings from 5 – 9 a.m. on KIRO Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

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