‘They’ll be pariahs’: KIRO hosts split on smartphones as Jake bans them for his sons

KIRO host Jake Skorheim drew a hard line on smartphones and his four sons.

“They’re not having any smartphones while they live under our roof,” Jake said on “The Jake and Spike Show” on KIRO Newsradio. “If they want to make that decision at 18, that’s one thing.”

KIRO fill-in host Greg Tomlin warned him what’s coming.

“If your kids don’t have phones by seventh, eighth, ninth grade, they will be the only ones,” Greg pointed out. “They’ll also be pariahs, too. Their social circle will go down because people will think they’re weird. That’s just a harsh fact.”

“Good,” Jake responded.

Both hosts agree smartphones are the problem

The exchange came during a broader conversation about the epidemic of loneliness among young men. Both agreed on one of the biggest culprits.

“Smartphones. It reduces your life into this little glowing rectangle where you get things instantly, and it gives the impression of satisfaction, but it’s really a hollow shell,” Greg said.

Young men can now get nearly any desire met without leaving the house: food delivery, entertainment, pornography. The convenience is quietly destroying them.

“What your heart and your soul is truly seeking cannot be found by caving in on yourself,” Greg added.

The trap Jake is trying to keep his sons from

Jake said his smartphone concerns go well beyond screen time. He worries that constant access to a smartphone will stunt his sons’ ability to read social cues, interact face-to-face, and develop emotionally. The dangers of unrestricted internet access for teenage boys are severe.

“All the pornography and all of the connection to online female stuff for young men is a disaster,” Jake said. “It’s truly going to ruin a good chunk of what could be a very, very meaningful part of their young life if they fall into that trap, and it’s very difficult to get out of.”

Greg takes a different approach with his son

Greg, whose oldest son is entering seventh grade, said he respects Jake’s position but is taking a different approach. His son is getting an iPhone this year, with no internet browser, no YouTube, no social media, and every app download requiring parental approval.

“The only hesitation I have with ‘they will not have a phone under our roof at all’ is, then you’ll miss opportunities to teach as they go through the growing pains of having the phone,” Greg said.

He illustrated the risk of going too restrictive with a story from his own childhood.

“We had friends that could never have soda growing up,” Greg said. “The second they got out of the house, they would have like nine sodas at their friend’s house and be sick to their stomach. Now they don’t have teeth.”

Jake acknowledged the tension. His wife has raised the same concern. A kid who’s never touched a smartphone could go off the deep end the moment they leave home.

“You step out the door, and suddenly you have this thing in your pocket that you’ve never had access to, and it could go down a really dark place,” Jake said. “I get all that. I understand that.”

School smartphone bans

Earlier this year, Jake wrote about why a wave of smartphone bans at schools in Washington don’t go far enough.

“Here’s the thing: I’m an adult, and I still struggle to put my phone down. I set limits and break them. I know better and do it anyway. Now imagine being a teenager with an undeveloped prefrontal cortex up against the same algorithm-engineered pull. It’s not a fair fight,” Jake pointed out.

Watch the full discussion in the video above.

Listen to “The Jake and Spike Show” weekdays from noon to 3 p.m. on KIRO Newsradio 97.3