How you can have lunch with Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz

Starbucks founder and CEO Howard Schultz is up for auction. Rather, a lunch with the former SuperSonics owner is up for auction.

If you’re interested, the current highest bid is $1,600 with 20 days left to go. The offer to sit down for the 1-hour meal and chat with Schultz struck a chord with Luke, but it wasn’t because of the coffee empire.

Immediately the wheels started turning in Luke’s brain, as it did with thousands of other disappointed Sonics fans. This could be the one-on-one opportunity to talk to Schultz about why he sold the team, and ultimately, gave away Seattle’s stake in the NBA.

But there is a clause in the lunch. (And it’s not just that the winner has to pick up the cost of the meal for eight.)

Winning bidder and guest(s) subject to security screening. We expect all winning bidders and their guests to conduct themselves appropriately when attending an experience won at Charitybuzz. Polite manners and respect for the generous donor and adherence to any rules or parameters are a must.

Confused and upset, Luke said he didn’t understand why anyone would want to “bro down” with Schultz except to yell at him about the Sonics.

Dave was sure if Luke was given the chance he could politely raise the topic – his disappointment in Schultz’s decision – while remaining respectful.

That wouldn’t do. “What if I came dressed as Squatch and had a normal conversation, but through the furry head of Squatch?” Luke asked.

Given the restriction, Luke wasn’t going to try and raise the money (that ultimately benefits the Humane Society) and chow down with Howard.

But being of a charitable sort of mind, Dave suggested one more solution: Luke should auction off a lunch with him and Schultz should be the highest bidder.

“And there is a niceness clause there,” said Luke, “which says you have to be mean.”