‘I can’t do this alone’: Study reveals alarming drop in mental health for U.S. mothers since 2016

Over the past few years, the weight of parenting has felt so heavy for some.

A new study published in JAMA Internal Medicine followed nearly 200,000 mothers in the U.S. from 2016 to 2023.

The study found a steep decline in maternal mental health.

Only 25% of moms report “excellent” mental health, down from 38% in 2016.

There was a 64% increase in mothers reporting fair or poor health.

“We know that there was inflation, a lot of financial difficulties at that time, but the other factor is that it’s a matter of when in motherhood that this occurs,” Christi Taylor-Jones, a marriage and family psychotherapist, told KIRO Newsradio. “And we know that actually about a year before pregnancy and a year after pregnancy are kind of you know, times of upheaval.”

She said new moms, regardless of whether or not they have a partner, have to adjust to a new reality very quickly. Mothers learn that mom life is unpaid, full-time, and back-breaking work.

“I think for women today, their mothers may have worked, but a lot of them didn’t, and women are having to carry a huge burden now, because the jobs that they’re in are generally higher level than their mothers, meaning they’re working long hours, they’re under much more stress, they have less time for their children, and in those early years, especially, trying to juggle it all is very difficult,” Taylor-Jones said.

She said if you have a husband or partner, they can help.

“I wrote about how to educate your husband about motherhood and the demands of motherhood and what is needed, and also not to push them out of the nursery, let them take over some of the responsibility, and that sometimes is hard for women, too, by the way,” Taylor-Jones said.

The benefits of having a supportive partner

As I spoke with Taylor-Jones, it reminded me what a privilege it is to have a supportive partner. Let me share a quick story. I breastfed my firstborn for 13 months, but I remember just a few days after my husband and I got home from the hospital with him.

He very plainly and directly said to me, “If you don’t pump, I can’t help you.”

In those first days, I wanted to be there for every single feeding, but in my journey, I realized it wasn’t necessary, and it was not the best for my mental health. Pumping gave me flexibility; it was my free pass to sleep at night while my husband was up feeding our baby with a bottle.

I also had the freedom to do ordinary things that many moms learn very quickly are hard to come by, like brushing your teeth, taking a shower, or washing your hair.

So it begs the question, how do women without help do it? How can mothers avoid slipping into a poor mental state or depression?

“Probably the first person you’re going to talk to is your doctor, and hopefully the doctor is educated on these issues, so finding out what resources are available,” Taylor-Jones said.

She said if you are religious or spiritual, talk to your minister.

Family members and friends are also a good source too if you feel like you can talk to them freely without judgment.

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