You can do better than flowers, chocolate for Valentine’s Day

Your local QFC is bracing for an onslaught of last minute Valentine’s Day shoppers, mostly guys racing in at the end of the day to grab some mass market chocolate and the last of the over priced red roses.

The National Retail Federation says the average guy will spend about $170 per person to say “I love you” to that special someone.

But Seattle’s Morning News co-host Tom Tangney won’t be one of them.

“When I was a kid, I loved Valentine’s Day and everybody passed around these cards and I sort of think that’s where Valentine’s Day should remain… in elementary school,” says Tangney.

He calls it a contrivance and argues it merely sets men up for failure or fights with their significant other.

“I understand guys that are ‘flowers and chocolate guys’ and I’m just not one of those guys. And I never understand why the love of my life would want me to suddenly transform myself into some false expression,” he says.

Tangney admits his resistance to making a token gesture one day a year has been the source of some knock-down, drag-out disagreements with his wife of 28 years.

After a decade, he finally gave in.

“I just said ‘Oh my god, this is not worth it. You want your bloody Valentines?!'”

Suffice it to say, his acquiescence was less than impactful because it was hardly heartfelt, and his wife knew it.

That’s exactly the problem with just grabbing something last minute off the shelf, says local relationship coach Katherin Scott.

“It’s counterproductive to give them a card and roses,” Scott says.

Luckily, it’s not too late to touch someone’s heart. Scott says give them an experience rather than a gift.

“To create an experience, you’re really creating a memory with your sweetheart…get a painting class, get a glassblowing class, there are so many amazing things here. You can do a couple’s massage or you can actually take a three hour class on how to massage each other,” she says.

Scott says the effort is far more important than the gift itself. She recommends a handmade card, or perhaps a framed photo of you and your loved one.

She says don’t even think about taking the easy way out and sending something online.

“You send an e-card to your grandmother if they’re online or a whole bunch of your friends.”

Both Coach Katherine and Tom Tangney agree on one thing. Romance needs to be cultivated every day, not just on Feb. 14 and it’s all about the details.

“Touch her when she passes by, say a wonderful thing, tell her how beautiful she looks every single day. and that’s how you build the love,” says Scott.