11 kindergartners explain how to cook a turkey

There are plenty of ways to cook a turkey. KIRO Radio’s Ron Upshaw brines his and injects it with Cajun seasoning.

Meanwhile, co-host Don O’Neill spent hours researching how to smoke a turkey, only to find some better options from his 5-year-old son’s kindergarten class. The kids created a book with each student’s own recipe for how to cook a turkey.

“I wasted my time last night staying up all night trying to figure out how to cook a turkey because all I had to do was reach into my son’s backpack,” Don said.

Here are some adorable recipe options, with commentary, that Don read on the air:

Alaina: You take a pan, then make some juice. Then mix it up and put it in the oven to cook, and then you can cook it for a few seconds and take it out and: Oh man, it’s yum.

Susanna: First you buy it at the store, then you cook it on the stove and then you eat it.

Christopher: First you buy it at the store, then you chop it into little pieces, then you cook it, then you eat it.

Chloe: The turkey comes from a farm and then you cook it on the stove and then you cook it for a half hour. Then you put stuff on top of it, like seasoning. And then you cut it up and then you feed it to the dog.

Fletcher: Someone shoots it in their family. Then you pick out all the feathers, the wings and the eyes. And then you take all the skin off and then you cut it up. Then you put it in the oven, and then you cook it, and then you take it out of the oven, and then you let it cool down and then you can eat it. And maybe it has a little wishbone and you can crack it over your head.

Francis: I think you just cook it like a chicken. You put a timer in there and when you eat it, it tastes like a chicken and, well, sometimes you make it for your dog, and if you do that, just put it in the oven with your dog.

Airiston: You get the turkey from the store and then you eat it.

Jake: You kill it, you pick all the feathers off and then you bring it home and put it in a pan and you can put it in the oven for 25 seconds. And after that it’s ready for the dinner table.

Solomon: I think you roast it in the oven and then you roast it for 15 minutes. Then you get it back from the store and then there’s some wet stuff that you put on it and I think the wet stuff looks like dressing, but it tastes horrible.

Theo: You take a suramin and then you take the turkey juice out. Then you put it in the regular oven for 20 minutes and then you put stuff out on the table, and other different kinds of food, like a feast. You’ve got bread and mozzarella cheese and pretzels and then the oven goes “nanananana, nanananana” and it’s ready, and you eat it and the bones are still left and they’re gross, so you give the bones to your dog and hope the dog doesn’t choke.

“G-force” O’Neil: You have to kill it first, and that’s a lot of fun. And then you bake it and then you put some sugar on it, and after you kill, you put more sugar on it. And then you have to cook it for just about 35 minutes. You set the timer and then you go watch a cartoon. When you come back you get it out with gloves, because it’s hot and you don’t want to burn yourself, and then you put it on a plate and cut it in half and then you eat the turkey, bones and all.

Ron: You put sugar on his turkey?

Don: I’ve been wondering why he’s wanted to go kill a turkey and now I know.