Don’t waste your time on fancy cranberry sauce

It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means. Time for me to give you the random things that go through my head. I call it Shower Thoughts.

Cheap eats

In the spirit of our Halloween Candy Corn debate (candy corn is still evil and should be destroyed,) let’s talk about cranberry sauce for Turkey Day. Clearly the sauce directly from the can is the best. Just leave it in the shape of the cylinder – little ridges and all. Resist the urge to fancy it up with chunks of fresh berries and god forbid, nuts. Come on people, nuts?

Wrong!

Well I guess I was loud wrong about the Seahawks playoff chances after that impressive win against the Lions. Barring some kind of miracle, they will not be making the post season this year. However, in my defense, they are dramatically better than most experts thought they would be.

But as hall of fame coach Bill Parcell’s famously said, “You are what your record says you are.”

Wrong again!

And there’s a possibility I also might be loud wrong about Amazon’s HQ2. I’ve written and spoken a lot about Amazon, but there are a growing chorus of smart and reasonable people that I respect being very critical of the HQ2 deal. So now it’s time to do some serious reading and adjust my view. If it’s merely criticism of politicians bending over too far, I’ll probably still keep my core opinion in tact. You can’t blame someone for asking. Politicians do what politicians do.

“I love my body”

Thursday Night Football is dumb. If you’ve ever had the chance to be on the sidelines for an NFL game, it’s incredibly brutal. To expect these athletes bodies to heal enough to go through another round of that trauma in a little over four days is criminal. You can say you’re concerned about safety all you want, but we all know it’s dolla’ dolla’ bills y’all.

The Facebook

Did you know that Amazon was almost called Relentless.com? Jeff Bezos still owns that domain. Try it out. Type in Relentless.com and you’ll end up on Amazon’s home page. Thanks for the heads up Failing New York Times.

“You’ve selected Agent Zero? If that’s correct, press 1”

I like to think of myself as a fairly savvy person, but I totally fell for the MoviePass scam. It seemed too good to be true that I could watch a movie a day in any theater I wanted for $9.99 a month. Well, turns out it was too good to be true. This dumpster fire of a company is about to be delisted from the stock exchange as its stock is now worth less than 2 cents per share. Their customer service is basically a bot that says “No refunds!” Real life face palm emoji.

More emojis!

Speaking of emojis, if you have an iPhone or iPad, you’ll have 70 new emojis at your disposal once you complete the new upgrade. In addition to a Llama and mosquito, how did we ever live without a sliced bagel emoji?

Now I’m hungry.