Dori: Connections — a fish story

I wanted to thank our listeners for pushing me out of my comfort zone to go fishing in Sitka, Alaska last week. The reason that it meant so much to me is because of the word “connections.”

I really was not going to go on this trip. But then I heard from hundreds of listeners who said, “Are you crazy? This is the trip of a lifetime.” As the listeners were pushing me to do something very much outside of my comfort zone, I also realized that this trip was an essential element of some goal-setting I’d been doing.

Goal-setting is a hugely important part of my life. Every year, my wife and I sit down on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day and try to set goals for ourselves, individually, professionally, as a couple, and as a family. The number-one goal for me 17 months ago was “connections.”

What I meant by that was, it’s an interesting time in life when your kids get older and more autonomous. You don’t do everything as a family anymore. Some of you may be able to relate to this. For about 25 years, my “new” friends have been either through work, or they were the parents of my kids’ friends, especially during the era in which I was coaching, when we would travel as families for sports events. You become incredibly close during travel like that.

The Dori Monson Alaska Adventure Travel Log

Then when your kids get to be in their 20s, they have their own lives, and you’re not always doing stuff with your kids and their friends’ parents anymore. It gets tougher and tougher to make those new friendships, those new connections.

I recognized that about a year-and-a-half ago, and wrote down that word “connections.” I admire people who have an incredible, broad range of friends. And building these connections is something I have been passionately working on ever since then. As I’ve become closer with some of my friends at work, including Brock Huard, we have talked on a deeper level than I ever have before with other guys. Ever.

When we were out there in the middle of Sitka Sound, it was unbelievable majesty. It was described to me as “the San Juans on steroids,” and it really was. It rejuvenated the soul. But also, when I was out there with Brock and Tom Nelson, it was just a couple of guys sitting there. It’s a generalization, but I think that women may have an easier time making those deep-level connections. I’ve certainly always aspired to make close friends as easily as my wife. But when you sit out there for hours watching the tip of a pole, waiting for a strike, you find things to talk about. I didn’t know Tom all that well before the trip, but after a couple of days, I just love the guy. He’s fantastic. I feel the same about Brock. We had so much fun.

There was one moment in the boat where we were just going down this passage, when I just blurted out, “I love you guys.” The scenery was amazing and we had music playing. It was such a magical moment.

Then I posted a couple of photos on Twitter with the first catch of my lifetime. Full disclaimer — nobody should evaluate anyone’s worth by social media, and counting your worth by social media likes is pathetic. But, the reaction to my Twitter post reminded me how of much I care about and appreciate you, the listeners. The salmon picture I posted got almost 600 likes. That’s never, ever happened before. The halibut photo got almost 400.

I tend to get feedback when listeners disagree with me — sometimes in very polite, constructive criticism terms, and sometimes in vile terms. But here was something where everyone was incredibly positive and was giving me feedback just because of this community that we have. You and I. It gave me another reason to be so deeply thankful for you, and for the friends I’ve had forever, and the new friends I’m making. It meant so much to me.

So I just wanted to say thank you to you, because all of that feedback was fantastic. You pushed me to take that leap off that ledge, and by doing so, I furthered my goal of making lasting connections. And again, it illustrates the power of goal-setting. As I’ve said for years, write down your goals, and read them over regularly. You internalize that list, and your brain, your subconscious, your being will find ways to fulfill those goals.

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