Ross: The war on school bathrooms

This story has been eating at me since I heard it yesterday. Kids are vandalizing school bathrooms and posting their mischief on TikTok as part of some bathroom challenge.

Suddenly, school bathrooms all over the country are missing soap dispensers, sinks, toilets, and even the doors to the stalls. They’re having to lock the bathrooms. Then what? Spread newspaper in the halls?

This prompted TikTok to start taking down these videos, and to post a notice that said, “We expect our community to create responsibly. … Please be kind to your schools & teachers.”

Isn’t that special?

School officials were a little tougher, threatening to arrest the vandals. In fact, at one school, kids posted a TikTok video of the principal’s announcement.

The kids sound terrified.

But we can’t blame the kids. Research tells us that the pre-frontal cortex of a male American teenager is still developing. Therefore, TikTok videos go directly into the primal brain. And within five minutes, no toilet.

Of course, TikTok not only knows this, their whole business model depends on it. They claim they have 10,000 censors on staff, but since their parent company is headquartered in Beijing, I have a feeling those censors spend most of their time protecting the Communist party’s sensitivities, not America’s toilets.

I’ll tell you this: If it was Chinese school toilets going missing, a bunch of TikTok executives would find themselves becoming intimately familiar with toilets, being that they would be scrubbing them at a re-education camp in Xinjiang province.

So, in my constant quest for bipartisan legislation, how about this: Since public schools are taxpayer-funded, every taxpayer in a district victimized by TikTok could join a class action suit for damages. The company is worth about $400 billion, which might almost cover it.

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