DAVE ROSS

Ross: Imagining Halloween without candy is terrifying

Nov 1, 2021, 5:32 AM | Updated: 10:09 am
candy...
PVC pipe is used to give trick-or-treaters candy on Oct. 31, 2020, in Washington, DC. (Photo by Stefani Reynolds/Getty Images)
(Photo by Stefani Reynolds/Getty Images)

Watching our two daughters raise their own children has been a fascinating experience, because they are both determined to make sure their kids are protected from any close encounters with any food that is in the least way processed, manipulated, tainted with additives, or adulterated by added sugar. And so, these kids get a wide variety of vegetables, fruits, grains, occasional takeout – they eat what mama wants them to eat, not the food industry.

So here comes Halloween, time for our almost-3-year-old granddaughter to debut on the trick-or-treat circuit. Her parents dressed her in a head-to-toe unicorn costume, which she immediately decided she wanted to sleep in – and they explained the rules.

You walk up to the door, you say “Trick or Treat,” you get candy, you say “Thank You.”

And that’s when the almost-3-year-old announced she doesn’t like candy! Especially chocolate!

Which is not surprising considering her diet.

She was perfectly happy to follow the ritual, but she was not going to eat any of the proceeds, except, I suppose, if she happened to find a house that was handing out quinoa, or fresh avocados.

Now – keep in mind – she was dressed as a unicorn, so she may be unique, but what if we are on the cusp of a generational change?

Can you imagine a world where children refuse chocolate?

You won’t have to demand that your children show you their candy anymore – they will gladly surrender it – and beg you for a beet salad.

Eventually, stores will have to stock Halloween assortments of individually-wrapped steamed green beans, low-salt plantain chips, sprouted rice cakes, and tofu jawbreakers.

It’s a terrifying prospect.

But, for now, there’s a happy ending because as fate would have it, Grandpa LOVES chocolate, and I’m pretty sure it will stay fresh at least through Thanksgiving, when Grandpa will be there to teach the kid a few bad habits.

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Ross: Imagining Halloween without candy is terrifying