Ross: The truth comes out behind bizarre conspiracy theory claiming birds aren’t real

It has been revealed by the New York Times that the “birds aren’t real” conspiracy is actually a parody started by some guy who wanted to teach us all a lesson.

As the Times explains it, this guy – on a whim – started claiming on Instagram that birds are actually not biological organisms, but government drones that have been spying on us. The intent of this fabrication was to demonstrate the stupidity of conspiracy theories, but instead, it ended up demonstrating the breathtaking gullibility of Instagram users.

Unless their gullibility itself is a parody. For example, one supporter of the bird truther movement was quoted as talking about how “this is a movement that needs to be known,” while hurling carefully chosen expletives at the government.

The outrage seems rehearsed, and the swearing is so fourth grade.

But just in case anybody was fooled, the originator of the “birds aren’t real” theory has stepped forward to say that birds are, in fact, real. If you doubt it, you can double-check it on Snopes, or just ask your cat.

If all this confuses you, you’re not alone, because it confused me, too. I don’t use Instagram, so I had never heard of the conspiracy, until I saw the Times article debunking it. And I have to say, it’s frustrating to discover that a conspiracy has been debunked before you’ve even had a chance to buy some of the swag.

But I will also say, if you want to believe birds aren’t real, go ahead, because most things we experience aren’t real anymore.

Nothing that comes to you on a screen is real. In real life there is no frame, so any depiction of reality with a frame around it is deceptive. True experience requires being there, with a 360-degree field of vision. Anything less than that and you are trusting whoever controls the frame.

That’s why I will not believe the drone-bird story until I catch a random blue jay and find a rechargeable battery in his belly. After which, I’ll try to figure out how it works and start spying on people myself.

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