DAVE ROSS

Dave Ross holiday parody: Walkin’ with an iPhone in Your Hand

Dec 23, 2021, 5:20 AM | Updated: 11:07 am
phone, walking...
(Photo by Edward Berthelot/Getty Images)
(Photo by Edward Berthelot/Getty Images)

Christmas standards are great, but being in the news business, I feel the need to update them from time to time, so here’s the latest cut from my beloved holiday album, “Christmas Updated:”

Sleigh bells ring, they’re so boring
Festive lights, you’re ignoring
All the holiday trees, you’ll never see
‘Cause you’re looking at the iPhone in your hand.

Back at home, children laughing
As their gifts, they’re unwrapping
But they didn’t get yours, you walked right past the stores
Looking at the iPhone in your hand.

In the meadow someone built a snowman
Who looked an awful lot Parson Brown
But the snowman was so focused on his iPhone
That he never saw the truck that ran him down.

Years from now, we’ll admire, photographs by the fire
Wonderin’ who was the clown, with his head always down
Walkin’ with the iPhone in his hand.

Listen to Dave Ross on Seattle’s Morning News weekday mornings from 5 – 9 a.m. on KIRO Radio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

Dave Ross on KIRO Radio 97.3 FM
  • listen to dave rossTune in to KIRO Radio weekdays at 5am for Dave Ross on Seattle's Morning News.

Dave's Commentary

Dave Ross

omicron...
MyNorthwest Staff

UW Virology head: Not yet to the peak of omicron in Washington state

In Washington state, at least in the local population that UW Medicine is caring for, it's not yet safe to say that omicron has peaked.
2 days ago
vaccine mandates...
MyNorthwest Staff

Former state AG: OSHA’s COVID vaccine mandate was too broad

Former state Attorney General Rob McKenna provides insight into the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling on President Joe Biden's vaccine mandates.
3 days ago
Rhodes, Capitol...
Dave Ross

Ross: It looks like the ‘tourists’ were up to something after all

Every American should read the Justice Department indictment of the Oath Keepers who participated in the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.
3 days ago
inflation...
Dave Ross

Ross: Use inflation as motivation for a little portion control

If millions of people suddenly don’t need to buy so much food, by the law of supply and demand, food prices would have to go down.
4 days ago
legislature...
Dave Ross

Ross: Trust your legislature

If the day comes when a state legislature picks the president, at least we'll get to vote for the representatives who we trust to make the choice for us.
5 days ago
grocery...
Dave Ross

Ross: The best gift you can give to any child is to teach them to chill

I was grocery shopping and noticed a new sign in the window: “We are short staffed. PLEASE be kind to those who showed up. We are doing our very best.”
6 days ago

Sponsored Articles

...

Compassion International Is Determined to ‘Fill’ a Unique Type of Football ‘Stadium’

Compassion International SPONSORED — During this fall’s football season—and as the pandemic continues to impact the entire globe—one organization has been urging caring individuals to help it “fill” a unique type of “stadium” in order to make a lasting difference in the lives of many. Compassion International’s distinctive Fill the Stadium (FtS, fillthestadium.com) initiative provides […]
...

What are the Strongest, Greenest, Best Windows?

Lake Washington Windows & Doors SPONSORED — Fiberglass windows are an excellent choice for window replacement due to their fundamental strength and durability. There is no other type of window that lasts as long as fiberglass; so why go with anything else? Fiberglass windows are 8x stronger than vinyl, lower maintenance than wood, more thermally […]
...

COVID Vaccine is a Game-Changer for Keeping our Kids Healthy

Snohomish Health District SPONSORED — Cheers to the parents and guardians who keep their kids safe and healthy. The dad who cooks a meal with something green in it, even though he’s tired and drive-thru burgers were tempting. The mom who calms down the little one who loudly and resolutely does NOT want to brush […]
...
Experience Anacortes

Coastal Christmas Celebration Week in Anacortes

With minimal travel time required and every activity under the sun, Anacortes is the perfect vacation spot for all ages.
...

Delayed-Onset PTSD: Signs and Symptoms

Lakeside-Milam Recovery Centers SPONSORED — You’re probably familiar with post-traumatic stress disorder. Often abbreviated as PTSD, this condition is diagnosed when a person experiences a set of symptoms for at least a month after a traumatic event. However, for some people, these issues take longer to develop. This results in a diagnosis of delayed-onset PTSD […]
...

Medicare open enrollment ends Dec. 7. Free unbiased help is here!

Washington State Office of the Insurance Commissioner SPONSORED — Medicare’s Open Enrollment Period, also called the Annual Election Period, is Oct. 15 to Dec. 7. During this time, people enrolled in Medicare can: Switch from Original Medicare to a Medicare Advantage plan and vice versa. Join, drop or switch a Part D prescription drug plan, […]
Dave Ross holiday parody: Walkin’ with an iPhone in Your Hand