Scenarios: My girlfriend can’t sing, should I tell my brother before she performs at his wedding?

Sep 29, 2022, 4:40 PM | Updated: Sep 30, 2022, 7:21 am
(Samantha Gades/Unsplash)
(Samantha Gades/Unsplash)

On the Gee and Ursula Show, hosts Gee Scott and Ursula Reutin solve other people’s problems in a segment called … Scenarios.

More Scenarios: Is it tacky to ask people to help pay for the open bar at my wedding?

Scenario: So my girlfriend thinks that she’s an awesome singer, but she’s not. In fact, she has a terrible singing voice. It’s almost comedy. She loves karaoke, but it’s hilarious, and she’s just bad. Well, that’s not the problem. My brother is getting married in a few months and needs a wedding singer. He gets along with her well, and she convinced him to let her sing for his wedding. I’m not joking. She’s not charging him anything, so I think that’s how she convinced him because my brother is very cheap. Keep in mind, he has never once heard her sing a single note before. Now, if I tell him that she is a terrible singer, he will absolutely tell her that she can’t sing for his wedding. That’s how my brother is. But if I don’t tell him, my girlfriend is going to humiliate herself, and possibly ruin my brother’s wedding. Plus, he’ll be angry at me for not giving him the heads-up. I’m in a pickle here. What should I do?

Ursula Reutin: I would mention it. And by the way, you get what you pay for. So if the person’s doing it because he’s cheap, there’s no sentimental reason to have her sing other than the price, right? Then again, you get what you pay for. I can’t believe that the bride has no say in this, by the way. That’s strange.

Gee Scott: Yeah, the bride makes all the rules.

Ursula: Or at least [she is] aware of who’s going to be the main singer. Now, that all said, sometimes it’s the people who maybe are the bad singer or someone who tells bad jokes or someone who has a speech that just goes haywire at the wedding, that makes the wedding. Let’s face it, if everything is perfect at a wedding, it’s kind of ehhhh.

Gee: People still talk about Roseanne Barr’s rendition of the national anthem.

Ursula: Okay, please don’t be that bad at the wedding.

Gee: This ain’t your fault. Meaning it’s the brother allowing your wife to sing without hearing her sing. This ain’t on you. I don’t say nothing.

Ursula: Or how about you say, ‘hey, I heard you’re going to have my wife, girlfriend, whoever sing at your wedding. Have you heard her sing?’ And if he says no, then you say ‘you might want to.’

Gee: Don’t do that. I tell you this all the time, the messenger always gets shot. Chef, what you got fam.

Andrew “Chef” Lanier: The issue here isn’t that your wife can’t sing, it’s that you’re worried about being embarrassed by your wife. You can’t ruin a wedding with a bad song or an awkward speech, so long as it isn’t, you know, exposing some deep secrets or embarrassing details of your relationship. If someone sings awkwardly, who cares? Everyone gets to cringe and laugh through it for two minutes. You’re just worried about being embarrassed by your own wife. That’s the problem. Maybe just realize, ‘hey, I love my wife, but she can’t sing, and she’s going to get up there and do it anyways, and I’m going to have to suffer to through it.’ Everyone else will. It’s not your problem. Get over yourself.

Ursula: Now, is the future groom thinking, ‘well, because I’m sure my friend would have said something if it was really going to be that bad.’ I don’t know. I would just be upfront.

Gee: This is his brother.

Ursula: Your brother? Then absolutely I would tell him.

Gee: Would you tell Honey?

Ursula: Yes.

Gee: If Honey herself made the decision to hire somebody without hearing them?

Ursula: Yeah. I would say, ‘are you sure about this?’ Tell both of them the truth. That’s what friends and family do. You can never be mad at the truth.

Gee: If your significant other asks, ‘honey, do I look fat in these jeans?’ Do you think the truth is a good time? No.

Chef: How do you like this casserole? ‘Oh, it’s the best.’ You’re going to eat it again. That’s the problem.

Nick Creasia: Well, I think there are times to be honest, but it’s a wedding right now. I think you got to just let people be happy. Tell her on another night, maybe in the bedroom, that she’s a bad singer or something. Somewhere one-on-one where nobody is going to be embarrassed. It’s not a concert at Madison Square Garden, just let it flow. I disagree with the decision, I would hire someone professional, but you know just let everyone have a good time.

Listen to Gee Scott and Ursula Reutin weekday mornings from 9 a.m. – 12 p.m. on KIRO Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

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Scenarios: My girlfriend can’t sing, should I tell my brother before she performs at his wedding?